New Year's Eve Live

Not Nancy Drew

I admit that I have an overactive imagination. And maybe it was because I had just seen the movie, "I Am Legend" with my daughter last night, but I woke up this morning at 3, hearing a noise downstairs that sounded like footsteps. I sat up in my bed, in a frozen, possum-like stance; my ears straining to listen. Creaking. On the first floor. An Intruder?? My heart raced.

I quickly groped about my room for a weapon. What should I use? My Intuition razor? A bottle of perfume? (“Yo, Intruder, you'd better leave my premises immediately. I have Chanel #5 and I know how to use it! If you come any closer, I’ll spray some in your eyes, and it might sting a bit!”) No. The only danger to The Intruder would be if he laughed so hard he dropped the gun on his foot.

Then I remembered my "weapon", the fireplace poker I keep under my bed, for the infrequent times when my husband is out of town. I grabbed the poker, and headed to the stairs to investigate. That is when Super Hubs woke up. “What’s going on?”, he asked sleepily. “I think I hear a prowler and I’m going to hit him with this," I whispered. With a look of alarm, my husband grabbed the poker from my hands, and told me to stay put, while he went downstairs. I picked up my cell phone, ready to dial #911 if necessary.

Then I checked on my children; safe and sleeping in their beds. But where was the dog; our Loyal Family Canine and Protector of All Things Evil? “Rudy?” I called, looking in all his usual sleeping places. But he was not to be seen. Had The Intruder silenced my dog? OMG; was my dog bound and gagged somewhere in a closet in the house??! But then I spotted him, sleeping under our bed, oblivious. And completely useless.

Super Hubs came back into the bedroom and told me he had checked every area of the house; opened every closet, peeked around every corner, and saw nobody. Our house was safe and secure. “You must have heard one of the cats. Or just the heat creaking through the pipes.” “Sorry,” I said, sheepishly, as he went back to bed.

I cannot help it that I conceive drama where there is none: I hear our cat during the night and think it’s an Ax Murderer; I can’t find the dog and assume he’s been murdered. My reasoning that The Norm could possibly be The Scary is probably, in part, caused by my steady diet of crime television viewing and mystery novels. I should probably cut back on those, for the sake of our sleep cycles.

But it’s also due to my colorful thought processes, which kept spinning long after Super Hubs went to bed. I finally fell asleep at 5:30am. So this morning I needed lots of caffeine. And today I am trying to lay off the frightening media, at least for a day, so Super Hubs can get some rest tonight.

2007 Resolutions

I came upon my list of New Year’s Resolutions from 2007. I tend to have over-inflated opinions on what I’m able to accomplish in a year. Let’s see how I did.
1. I will write a book.
Hmmm……….I did begin writing a book last January. Then I put it down, and began writing another book last February. Then I felt creatively blocked, so I began reading lots of books for inspiration. And then magazines, for the fashion advice, candidly. Which caused me to go shopping and buy purses. So I didn’t really have time to finish any of the aforementioned books. Alright, not so good on that resolution. I give myself a “C-.” No, a “D.”
2. I will drink 64oz. of water a day.
I did drink 64 oz. of water daily the first week of January. But then I had to pee every hour, which became highly inconvenient. And flushing the toilet every 60 minutes is a tremendous waste of gallons of water. So I decided that increasing my fluid intake was actually bad for the environment in the long run. So I stopped. (No need to thank me.) An “A+” for thinking "Green."
3. I will organize my entire house.
I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just give myself an “F” and move on.
4. I will purse a new hobby that will make me a more interesting person.
I did think about taking up something like cross-country skiing, but it looked….....cold. So I considered other options: Cake Decorating, Succulent Raising, Taxidermy. Nothing seemed right. So I decided that my current hobby of napping was actually very healthful to my body. Scientific studies have proven that! And there’s nothing more interesting than a healthy, well-rested person, correct? So why mess with what’s already working?? I am clearly a fabulously fascinating person because of the shut-eye. I ‘ll grade this one with an “A” for my brilliant foresight.
5. I will show self-control by not buying any more pets this year.
Well…….it all depends on how you look at it. I did acquire a small hamster. And then another. And then one more. And one to replace the one that was murdered by the dog. And then the first one died, so I honored her memory by buying another, which was the noble thing to do. But, I did not breed the hamsters, so I actually saved us from having hundreds. Nor did I buy the adorable puggle in the pet shop, tempted as I was. Or the cute terrier mix. Or the Siamese twin kittens with the blue eyes. So, I believed that I showed great improvement of character in the “impulsive pet purchasing” department. “B+.”

Overall, not too bad, yes? Oooooookay, pretty awful. Deplorable, even. But I can aim higher in ’08. Maybe I’ll resolve to write a screenplay or take up the harpsichord or win a Grammy. Who knows???

Brothers

Thankfully the nose is a recessive gene.

The Big Apple

It was off to New York City today! Super Hubs' sister, Elizabeth, met us for a romp around Rockefeller Center and Times Square. We watched the skaters, ate lunch at a little deli, shopped relentlessly, and even rode the subway. We were sad not to see any sewer rats, as that would have made this truly an authentic experience. But nonetheless, it was a fabulous day all around. We love New York!

Tonight the adults will take Mom out for a farewell dinner of some amazing form. A delicious vino is on my agenda.

Tomorrow we will leave pre-dawn for our marathon non-stop car trip back to Chicago; our mini-van packed to the gills with the 5 of us and all our Christmas loot. If all goes well, we should be home in a few short 14 hours. I simply cannot wait (she writes, toxic sarcasm dripping from the keyboard).

Merry Christmas Live

Monkey Jammies

My niece, Hanna, and I in our monkey jammies on Christmas Eve.