The Bright Sadness

I just returned from a three day retreat for my Spiritual Formation program. This fourth retreat marks the half-way point. It’s been a full year since I began the journey with these fellow sojourners, and I have another year to go. The little book case in my library is filled with the twenty books I’ve purchased and read so far as part of this program. Some have been required reading, and some of the books I’ve been drawn to and subsequently devoured vocaciously. They’ve challenged me, filled me up, and acted as spiritual companions; authors who have been seasoned in soul formation and will “walk alongside me” whenever I pick up their books.

My other spiritual companions are the fellow retreatants whom I see at the quarterly retreats. I’ve grown to truly love some of them. We’ve quickly gotten beyond the surfacey talk to deep soul matters, and they are closer to me than family. Each time we meet, though, is bittersweet. I’m thrilled to see them, catch up, and hear how God is working in their lives. But each retreat flies by so quickly. My heart feels heavy during the Leaving Service on the last day, knowing we’ll soon say good-bye; someday for the last time. But then again, I have hope that I’ll see them all in Heaven.

Today is Ash Wednesday, the day that ushers us into the Lenten Season. It is filled with the bittersweet knowledge of our mortality and sinfulness, yet with the hope of redemption.

“A journey, a pilgrimage! Yet, as we begin it, as we make the first step into the “bright sadness” of Lent, we see~ far, far away~ the destination. It is the joy of Easter, it is the entrance into the glory of the kingdom.” (Alexander Schmemann)

A wise mentor has suggested that the Lenten season is a time to seek God with all of your heart. Is there a way that you are holding back from God? What is one step you can make to begin to return to Him? I am using this season to fast from something personal that has been “cluttering” my soul. My hope is to create more space for God’s presence, so I can love Him with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength.

May God fill you with hope, my friends.