Can I Do This?

It’s a Milestone Season for sure. Butterfly and I traveled to Ohio this past weekend for Freshman Orientation at her college. It could hardly stomach the fact that my baby girl will soon be leaving my cushy nest for the Hallowed Halls of Higher Education. And Hallowed Halls that are a 6 hour drive away! It also does not seem possible that I am old enough to have a daughter who is old enough........But then I said that when she reached kindergarten. And then middle school. Nonetheless, it is seems implausible.

We left in the morning, and actually made it to our hotel in under 6 hours. That included one incident of exiting on the wrong expressway and making a panicked cell call to Super Hubs, who, with a few taps of his laptop keyboard was able to talk us back to the right expressway, bless his heart. We also made two stops for sweet teas and petrol. We arrived at 4, checked into our hotel, and then made a drive to the university campus. A prettier, warmer, quieter campus greeted us than the campus of last November. Most of the students had left for summer break, so we were able to wander around the buildings and quad taking pictures, virtually unnoticed. We stopped for a pizza dinner, then headed back to our hotel for some well-deserved chillaxin’.

The Freshman Orientation program began the next morning with sweet rolls, coffee and a lil People Watching from mois. Nervous-looking future Freshman, eyes darting anxiously about, were accompanied by their apprehensive parents. “Will I fit in?” “Is this really the right place for her?” undoubtedly darted through their brains. My daughter and I were wondering the same things.

Then there was a Welcome from some Important Academic Types. I liked what they said. I really did. I left the first session feeling a bit more peaceful and settled at the thought of leaving my daughter here in a few short months. The only useless session was the goofy woman plugged as a Mother of a College Student and thereby ready to answer our every question. But her son didn’t actually attend this university. So all her answers were laced with, “Well, I don’t know about here, but at my son’s college....” Ludicrous.

I commisserated with another mother in the dining hall over cheeseburgers, while Butterfly went to the Activities Fair to speak with a LaCrosse coach. Flushed and excited, she found me about 30 minutes later, and said she was given a quick try out and was welcomed to this Division 2 LaCrosse Team! Later, the amazing coach drove the two of us around in his car and showed us the sports fields and athletic buildings.

At the end of the day, we met with a Mathematics Professor who was to advise us on Butterfly’s class schedule. I was not looking forward to this, as Brilliant Mathematically Inclined Peeps tend to make me very nervous. They are everything that I am not. But even she was kind and maternal, showing us pictures of her 5 young daughters.

We began our road trip home by late afternoon, Butterfly’s posture straighter, both of us feeling reassured. Seeing my daughter’s thrill about making the LaCrosse Team, thereby coming into the school with a sense of belonging, assuaged me on a really deep level. And furthermore, I found every faculty member that I met to be warm and approachable, which made me want to grab them by the arms, look into their eyes, and make them pledge to care for my daughter when I am too far away to care for her myself. (Sniff.) Maybe I will be able to do this letting-go thing after all.