You Don't Live Here Anymore

I am grateful to the State of IL for their stimulus incentive- appliance rebate! It was just the motivation we needed to trade in our dinosaur of a fridge for a sleek new model.

I’ve been wanting a new refrigerator for years. I inherited Old Fridge when I moved into our home a decade ago, and we had a mutual loathing for one another. It’s been, as therapists call it, a dysfunctional relationship. From the chronically jammed ice maker, to the exterior scratches hidden by Little Squirt art, to the cramped interior with it’s perpetual coat of grime, the fridge was a boil on my kitchen’s backside. And I know it didn’t like me, because every time I opened the door, it’d hurl a frozen food object at my head. But Old Fridge kept food cold and was functional, and we cannot just purchase New And Improved at a whim, so we tolerated one another; Old Fridge and I.

But with the new of the stimulus incentive, I grabbed a girlfriend last Friday, and dragged her to Lowe's. We did a tour down Refrigerator Lane, opening and examining and pondering. In the end, we chose a Whirlpool thingie with French doors, bottom freezer and sterling silver finish. Best of all, I can still attach with magnets all the art that Little Squirt vigorously creates. Once purchased, I spent the weekend before the delivery frettting that New Fridge would be too tall, since I’d forgotten to heed any measurements. My bad.

New Fridge was delivered on Monday, and all went well. Old Fridge was so scummy and begrimed, I winced when the delivery men opened it up. I fully expected them to balk, “Ma’am, we ain’t putting this piece of garbage on our truck,” and drop it on our front lawn. But they were the non-judgmental sort, and replaced Old Fridge with New Fridge without batting an eyelash. I admit to feeling a pang of guilt as I saw Old Fridge being hauled away, destined to go to the Refrigerator Cemetery. But the guilt left in a flash, and I welcomed New Fridge to the family.

New Fridge is beautiful. I think all my other appliances envy the attention I’ve been giving her. She is spotlessly clean and completely organized. She’s a bit shy, but she let me snap a picture of her interior. (No, she is not a sideways fridge; the pic just refused to flip. Yes, that’s an emergency bottle of savignon blanc in her door. I have stress in my life, so don’t judge me. And notice all the fresh fruit and juices? See?? I’m a good mommy!)

I believe New Fridge and I are going to have years of a healthy, functional relationship.