Spring Break

Spring Break. Oh, really? I’m struggling to figure out where the spring is hiding, and definitely needing a break after being a one-woman entertainment committee for the past week. I’ve provided my youngest with lots of friend time, movie dates, and even an afternoon at Chuck E. Cheese. That’s love for you. And I’ve got witnesses, just in case he ever has a memory lapse down the road, and questions my motherly devotion in therapy.

Then we went east for a few days. Not south where the sun shines and the ocean beckons, but east to OH where it actually began snowing at the exact moment we arrived at our hotel. Uh, Spring Break?

We were there to visit Butterfly at her college, and I’d weather anything to see my kid. (Pun not intended, but clever nonetheless.) We enjoyed a hibachi dinner with the family, Butterfly’s boyfriend and her two roommates while the snow fell. Little Squirt logged in lots of swim time at the hotel pool, and Rock Star sat through three criminal justice classes, giving him a taste of college in a year and a half. He loved it.

Too quickly, we were on the road again, driving back home, the standard “Good-bye, Daughter” lump in my throat. It’s an odd thing, this life transition. It’s nearing the end of Butterfly’s sophomore year in college, yet each separation feels fresh and raw, like an old wound that begins bleeding again after the scab is torn off. Rock Star will be leaving the nest as well, soon enough. Saying good-bye to my children feels so wrong.

I don’t like this kids-growing-up thing, I want a Life Rewind Button for my birthday. I’ll take the year ‘03 back; homeschooling the first two with the baby in my arms. That was a good year for this mommy.

I’m reading Joyce Rupp’s Praying Your Goodbyes, and I quote, “Goodbyes will always be with us. So will hellos. Praying a goodbye can bring us to the doorway of new beginnings. The seed of resurrection in our souls will grow again.”

Easter season is a good time for me to remember this.