Baby, It's Cold Outside!

I am currently knee-deep into my worst 8 weeks of the year. Forgive me if your birthday falls in January or February. It’s not personal. I just (and picture me screaming this at the top of my lungs with a megaphone) HATE. THE. COLD. Capiche?

We were discussing skiing the other day, my mother and I. And she was going on about all the people in my family who are skiers and how I come from a long line of skiers, and don’t I remember taking skiing lessons as a child? And how she, my father, my brother and his wife ski in Aspen, and my cousins ski in Vermont, and blah blah blah with the skiing.

I left her home feeling like a Negligent Parent, because I have never taken my children skiing. And it’s one of the few things that Super Hubs and I have never done together. The last time I put my foot on a slope was 25 years ago. So I was feeling badly about that, and concerned that I have wasted my life because I have never honed my skiing skills nor given my children adequate skiing opportunities. And I was beginning to mentally spiral down into Bad Me Syndrome until Super Hubs reminded me of two things:
1.) We live in IL.
2.) I’ve always hated cold weather sports because they require that I be in the cold.

I felt better. I really don’t want to ski with my husband or children. Not ever. I’d love to have a Christmas card picture taken of all of us, one year, wearing stylish ski outfits with killer sunglasses on a (fake) slope looking like we are somewhere fabulous. But that’s as far as I want to go with it. I’d truly rather be a Ski Impostor. I’d wear a cute little pink ski jacket to an amazing lodge in the mountains, and stand at the top of the biggest slope, looking all courageous and athletic. I’d give tongue to some ski terminology, like “milk run" and “schussing” so people would take me seriously. But, after being outside for no longer than 10 minutes, I’d head to the nearest indoor hot tub with a glass of something wicked. Ahhh. That sounds like the perfect ski vacay for me. And do they offer massages at ski resorts? This could be fun!

Anyone in for a Ski Impostoring with me?