Dating Again

Today, it’s back to the grind. Super Hubs left at 6am for the train, and I won’t see him again for 12 hours. He hasn’t been to work since his father died last month, and then the holiday vacation hit. Oddly enough, after spending virtually 24 hours a day with him for the past 3 weeks, I am feeling homesick for this husband of mine since he left for work his morning. I will miss him today! I’d say that speaks well of our 21-year-old marriage.

The past few weeks since my husband’s father died, and then his uncle, we’ve clustered together like baby birds in a nest trying to keep warm. Normally, my extroverted self craves relationships. The more, the better! I thrive on a fast-paced life of evening meetings and lunches with friends and Girls Nights Out. Just not lately. During this Christmas break, we’ve gotten together with a few of our close couple friends, and I had one girlfriend lunch date. But that’s it. I’ve found that outside relationships currently feel draining to me, with few exceptions. Deep emotional exhaustion turns me into a hermit with very little people-energy. I barely recognize myself.

But, on the flip side, our family-time has been life-giving. I’ve loved snuggling together on these cold winter days with my husband and kids; playing games and watching movies. These simple times with the favorite people in my life have been necessary and peaceful and healing.

And Super Hubs and I have taken a lot of dates. Some of them have been soul-restorative, in which we’ve counseled each other over lazy Buffalo Wild Wings lunches. We’ve examined our past year with it’s goods and its uglies. We’ve discussed some changes we’re going to make in this new decade. We will cut off the “dead branches” in our lives, clear away clutter, and embrace some new possibilities. There will be changes, and we will hold each other accountable.

We’ve also had some easy-peasy fun dates without any discussions deeper than our wine choice with dinner. We’ve laughed through several movies, and browsed through books together at B&Ns. We giggled during a wine-tasting at Cooper’s Hawk, then waited an hour for a table before eating the most delicious steak in my life; horseradish-encrusted medallions. We ate BBQ at a restaurant on a night that was in the single-digits. I rarely order a cheeseburger at a restaurant, but it sounded like the warmest thing on the menu and all I could think about was heat. I relished every stomach-warming bite.

Yep, it’s been good. Every deep talk, every laugh, every single date between my husband and me during our holiday break. A “Just Us Two And No More Will Do” isn’t healthy forever. But it’s been working for us in this chaotic little season of our lives.