Birthday Eve Musings

Here I am again. The sun will soon set, the night will come, and at 8:30am tomorrow morning, I will officially add another year to my age.

I never wanted to be one of Those Women who fall into a depression with each approaching birthday; counting every wrinkle, complaining about their added poundage and creaky bones. But candidly, I’ve become one of Those Women this past year. I am feeling convicted that one of my most commonly used phrases has been, “I’m getting old” (said with a dramatic sigh of disgust).

But beginning with this year, I want to celebrate each day in a deeper way. No more negative self talk about aging. I want to embrace this next age as a gift, because, in reality, it’s better than the alternative. I feel fit and youthful and excited about the future. The past few years have been the most creative of my life. I am wiser and more comfortable in my skin than ever in the past. I know who I am, what I like and why, what doesn’t work for me, how to choose friends wisely, how to dress best for my body type. I know my passions, my goals, my worldview. The first half of my life was a lot of guess work, but now I have things better figured out. Would I want to go backward? No. I like being where I am in life, and I am (on most days) proud of who God has grown me to be. Maturity is one of the gifts that we only receive with time. I’ll take that over youth.

If I had to pick one area I’ve grown in since my last birthday, it’s been in my ability to be honest. I have had more honest conversations with God, others and myself than ever in my life. It’s been freeing to let go of the people-pleasing and discover a more authentic and healthier way to live.

God has been good. He has given me so many moments-as-gifts since my last birthday. These are a few of my favorites:

~Weekly date nights with my favorite guy
~Gathering for prayer with my Intercessory team, in whatever “closet” we can find
~Long discussions about books over wine with my Chocolate Pie Book Club
~Watching my youngest dance with my niece and nephew
~Lazy days spent reading by the ocean in Hilton Head
~Late night talks with my teens hanging out on my bed
~Fabulous sunset dinners in Cabo San Lucas with my family, Chris & Cintia
~Cooking and laughing side by side with my Cool Chicks Cooking Club
~Drinks and heart-to-heart talks with my closest girlfriends
~Every retreat with my Transforming Community
~Prayer walking with my youngest at a crisis shelter
~Kisses from my sweet little Murphy nieces
~Monday morning writing dates with a friend
~Receiving a surprise diamond ring from my husband at a silent auction
~Dancing with my brother to “We Are Family.”

What else? I’m probably forgetting a whole bunch of great moments, since I’m getting older. (Oops. There I go again.) It’s time to pop my evening fish oil capsule, and be on my way. Thank you God, for giving me life!