Them's Fightin' Words!

Little Squirt is a peacemaker by nature. He has no fightin’ bones in his body. One day he told his older brother about some boys on the playground that were lying on top of him and wouldn’t let him get up. His tougher, wrestler older brother offered words of counsel on how to manhandle these schoolyard hooligans. He had a long conversation with Little Squirt, complete with demonstrations, using terms like, “Sucker punch” and “Forearm smash.” After a moment, eyes wide with horror, my little boy said, “But that’s not the kind of guy I am! I don’t hurt people!”

It’s so true. Little Squirt is about as sweet as they come. His heart bled to find a lonely ant in the house, and he hurried to find him a snack. He won’t step on bugs. He gets weepy during sad Pixar films. His teacher says he’s the tender-hearted child who comforts the crying in his classroom. He’s kind and sensitive to the core.

That is why I was quite surprised to find his writing assignment on “My Life As An Ant.”
“It would be cool if I was an ant because I could kill enemies and take their heads off.”

Apparently, my sweet boy has an Ant Alter Ego. Who knew??

Fainting and Trust

Last night I had one of those vivid, horror dreams. In my dream, evil alien creatures were taking over the world and rounding up humans and putting them in prisons. Think Stephen King meets The Holocaust. My family was taken captive, but then they let my husband and children go free, and kept me captive. The goal of the aliens was to take over my mind and body. There were some other frightened humans wandering about along with me.

Suddenly, I saw this big, strong, handsome man. He seemed to be working at the prison. I looked him in the eyes and begged him to save me from the evil. He said he would. Suddenly, we could hear the aliens approaching. The big, strong, handsome man said to me, “Pretend to faint in my arms. It’s protection. Then the evil ones will leave.” Sounds very sexist and Harlequin-Romancey, yes? But it worked. The evil aliens couldn’t touch me when I fainted away in the arms of my protector. Then I was able to escape from the prison, and go back safely to my family. That was my dream last night.

Then this very morning, my daily devotion from Streams in the Desert was all about fainting.
“What do you do when you are about to faint physically? You cannot do anything. You cease from your own doings. In your faintness, you fall upon the shoulder of some strong loved one. You lean hard. You rest. You lie still and trust........And that is all God asks of you, His dear child, when you grow faint in the fierce fires of affliction. Do not try to be strong. Just be still and know that He is God, and He will sustain you, and bring you through.”

Thanks for the dream and the next-day affirmation, God. I love it when you speak clearly.

Keeping The Nest

My daughter told me today that I need to blog more so she has something to read over the summer. I’ve been quite MIA on the writing front lately. I’ve been camping in a season of dryness, feeling uncreative and wordless. But since my daughter asked, I will write about her.

Butterfly just officially finished her last class of her sophomore year of college today. This marks the halfway point of her undergrad career. How is that possible? It seems like yesterday I was dropping her off for her first semester, and crying a bucket of tears on the six hour drive home. I seriously did. I cried for much of the semester, come to think of it. With my firstborn so far from home and my youngest finally in school full-time after years of homeschooling, it was a lonely season. I had full days to myself for the first time in 18 years and I hated it.

“Dude!” I can hear you exclaiming. “What the heck is wrong with you? Nobody hates having full days to themselves!” Well, I did. And it wasn’t as if I lied around eating bonbons. I did loads of volunteer work, wrote, took a yoga class and hung out with friends. But here’s the odd little fact about me: I love being a mother. I'd wanted to be a mother since I was five years old. And before I was a real mother I mothered plants, pets and my baby brother. After my kids grow up I’m certain I'll be mothering my grandchildren, my friends and the odd stray cat that ventures on my front porch. If I could be a Professional Mother, I would be. Call it retro or passe or Donna Reed Days Gone By. I don’t care. It’s who I am.

Back to Butterfly. She isn’t coming home this summer. She was blessed to get a great job at an amusement park in OH where she’ll be working with her friends and boyfriend. She’ll be paid well and will stay on campus. I’m happy for her, because I know it’s going to be a one-of-a-kind experience. Do I feel an emptiness in my heart that she won’t be with us this summer? Absolutely! I enjoy our girl-talks, movie nights and lunches out for hot wings. But the half-way mark of her college career means she’s moving closer to that day when she moves out forever. And so I need to begin letting go now.

Dang it! Before I had children, when I imagined motherhood, I pictured snuggling with baby lotion-scented infants, wiping runny noses, and kindergarten art work hanging on the fridge. I didn’t imagine the good-byes. However do the mother birdies do it?