It Takes A Village

I was sitting in a hotel room with my husband in the middle of Lima, Peru, on August 27, 1991. We were playing cards on the queen-sized bed with it’s brownish quilt. We had been in the country for 1 week. A sibling group we’d flown over to adopt had fallen through. The 3 yo girl and her infant brother had lived with us for 72 hours, and then, for reasons out of our control, were sent back to their birth mother. The whole thing felt surreal. We were young twenty-somethings, visiting a third world country, and had just lost two children we’d begun to bond with and had hoped would become ours. I felt like we were starring in a movie on Lifetime.

Feeling discouraged and shell-shocked and alone, we had spent the remainder of the week doing a little sight-seeing, our spirits lifted only by the community of some other Americans, and the promises of our atttorney to find us another baby “really soon.”

As I shuffled the deck of cards, there was a knock on our hotel room door. I answered it and was surprised to see our attorney standing there, holding a little bundle in her arms. I gasped as I realized the bundle was a tiny sleeping infant with curly black hair, swaddled in an orange blanket. “Boy or girl?” I asked. “Girl.” my attorney whispered. And then she placed the sleeping baby in my arms with the words, “This baby was born for you.”

Flash forward 18 years, two sons, and a whole lot of wrinkles later. That little “sleeping baby girl” will be leaving for college next week. And it’s taken a village to raise her. I don’t mean that negatively. She has been a joy and a delight, and I love her with everything that I am. Frankly, I’m not certain I will survive the transition to college without a wise therapist to guide me along! Butterfly brings a great amount of fun and laughter and positive energy to the family. I will miss her like crazy!

But there were times, particularly during the adolescent years, when Super Hubs and I were not key voices in her life. In fact, we were The Voices She Was Least Likely To Listen To, much like the adult voiceovers on Charlie Brown. “Wah wah wah wah wah wah.”

I am beyond grateful to “The Village” that has helped us raise this child; the godly women that have come alongside my daughter. They have consisted of church staff and small group leaders, relatives, teachers, neighbors, and close friends of mine. They have crossed paths with my daughter at Divinely-appointed times to offer prayer, counsel, encouragement, truth, guidance, or perhaps a gentle reprimand. For those moments or days or weeks when our parental exhortation fell on deaf ears, they surrounded her. Like a village.

I hosted a Prayer Shower for Butterfly on Monday night. I wanted to do something to honor her and send her off onto the next leg of the journey before she leaves for college. I invited some of those key “Village” women. There wasn’t enough room around my dining room table for the entire “Village,” so Butterfly chose some particular women that have been instrumental in her life as of late.

We shared a meal, and then spent time blessing her. But I was the one who was blessed beyond measure! Truly. As any mother knows, you love those that love your kids. I heard the voices of beloved women that have consistently spoken beauty into her life. They showed up to pray. One even sang an incredible song. They cared for her.

They are my angels. I will always be grateful. May they, too, be blessed beyond measure.