Patch Pickle

You, my dear blog readers, will be pleased to know that we’ve had a small victory in our household involving one of my cats, Kinsey. I rescued her from a shelter four years ago, and named her for the heroine detective of the Sue Grafton novels. I thought calling her after the feisty P.I. would be a prophetical indicator of strength of spirit, but I was SO wrong. Kinsey is as timid and neurotic as they come.

As much devotion as I have for this pet of mine, I realize that she is quite odd. She’s kind of like the peculiar aunt who lives with you, and friends give you knowing, compassionate glances with a wink and a nod; “My, she’s a strange one! How good of you to take her in.”

Shortly after I brought Kinsey home, she was diagnosed with colitis, which played itself out in bloody……...well, never mind. I’ll spare you. Let’s just say the corner of the dining room carpet she chose to use for her private water closet the first few weeks has never been the same.

She spends hours a day sitting in my Master Bathroom, just staring at the toilet. Honestly. She gawks at the white porcelain throne for endless amounts of time, as if she expects one day it’s going to jump up and do The Watusi.

Here is another oddity about her: Kinsey is a bicolor; primarily white with a big black patch of fur on her back, and black on her face. And for months she was only grooming her white fur, while completely neglecting the black. She’d start from one end of her body to the other, meticulously grooming her light fur until it gleamed, and passing right over the dark. In recent weeks, the ebony hair on her back had begun to look unsightly. It was matted, knotted and full of dandruff; really disgusting. So a few weeks ago I called the vet to ask their advice. What do I do about this feline who left much of her fur in complete filth? Do I bathe her? Groom her myself?

The wise vet advised that, yes, I should groom Kinsey myself, thus showing her how to keep her black fur clean and orderly. So I did. Which went pretty well……...except for the part about misunderstanding the vet’s instructions and getting a mouthful of fur……....and the subsequent throat-swelling and EMS call due to my cat allergies. My bad. But the epinephrine injections gave me the manic energy to clean not only Kinsey fur but my entire house as well! So do not fear, it all turned out happily. This cat now takes control of her own self-hygiene completely, and has a new improved interest in grooming her black backside. You can sleep well tonight knowing this. And my house is completely in order for the holidays.