Polarity

Here are some of the ways that Super Hubs and I manage the various goings-on in our household:
Children’s Activities: Me
Car Maintenance: Super Hubs
Pet Buying: Me
Pet Disposal: Super Hubs
Social Agenda: Me
As the Social Agenda Committee Head in our marriage, I usually plan The What, The Where and The Who, lay out an appropriate outfit for Super Hubs to wear, and off we go. Last night we went to two simultaneous Christmas parties, both at opposite ends of the same building. It was a case of me wanting to be in two places at once. I felt a bit like a Two-Timer, such as the episode of The Brady Bunch where Peter has two different dates on the same night. (I never had two different dates simultaneously but I did actually have three different dates consecutively on the same evening while I was in college. But I was young and free-spirited and it was My Wild Sorority Girl Days. So don’t judge me.)

We stayed at Party #1 for 42 minutes, munching on appetizers, until I whispered to Super Hubs to finish his buffalo wing and wrap up his conversation, because in three minutes we were headed to the other party. He obediently followed me to the other end of the building where we enjoyed the main course at Party #2. Then an hour later, conveniently right before the game of Christmas Song Charades, we ducked out and went back to Party #1 for dessert. We mingled there a while longer, then cavorted back to Party #2 for coffee and The White Elephant Exchange.

After we left the parties, I directed Super Hubs onto more Fun. I invited us to the home of good friends for drinks, which was a wonderful way to wind down our evening.

We went home, and Super Hubs was exhausted, while I was exhilarated. He fell into a comatose sleep of the dead, while I, energized after so much social interaction, was awake much of the night, thinking: “Was I too babbly? Was my all-black outfit attractive, or was it too Grandma’s Funeral Frumpy? What was in that delicious cranberry dip? Did I talk to everyone enough tonight? I hope I didn't leave anyone out.” and so forth; my mind incessantly mulling over the evening’s events and conversations and every detail.

Super Hubs and I are polar opposites. I am a Sanguine, and he is a Melancholy, which can bring a beautiful balance to our family if we don’t end up killing each other first. In the early days of our marriage, we just didn’t get each other. I found him anally structured, even-keel and analytical, while he found me emotional, people-pleasing and freakishly talkative. We’ve learned over 18 years of marriage to appreciate each other’s differences in temperament. He provides safety and structure and security, while I………….find us the parties. Sometimes several in one night.

I found this interesting on-line personality test. I’ve found it so freeing to figure out why I am the way that I am, and be okay with it. And become more tolerant of other’s differences. And to try to understand the way each of my three children are wired up.

It makes the world a more interesting place to have variety of personalities, I believe. Like flowers in a garden. Or people at two different Christmas parties on the same night. Or a well-balanced marriage. My husband draws the pictures of our life, and I color them in.

“We are staying home tonight, right??” Super Hubs asked me anxiously, first thing this morning. “Yes, we’ll just make popcorn and watch a DVD, “ I said. He visibly relaxed. Until I added, “Unless someone calls and invites us to a party.”