Inadvertant Elimination

I was enjoying catching up with some girlfriends over coffee, earlier this week. I had a lovely 2 hour window when Little Squirt was in school, and my time was my own. I was just laughing over a friend’s story, when my phone rang. I was alarmed to see that it was Little Squirt’s school. My mind raced as to what could be wrong. Was he ill? Lost? Homesick? Being expelled??

Nervously, I answered. “Yeesssss?”
School Nurse: (hesitating) “Ummm…..we’ve got a bit of a situation.”
Me: “Situation? WHAT KIND OF SITUATION???”
School Nurse: “Little Squirt had an accident.”
Me: “Accident? Car? Playground? What??”
School Nurse: “Not that kind of an accident. An ‘accident’ in his pants.”
Ahhhh. The light dawned, and I almost giggled.
School Nurse: “So, would you mind coming over right away to bring him a fresh change of clothes, and (whispering) some baby wipes to clean him up?”
Oh. That kind of accident.

I bid farewell to my girlfriends and headed to the school, so thankful that this was my third child. I was horrified when my firstborn, Butterfly, accidentally peed in her pants in kindergarten. I was mortified, and she was mortified, and the teacher shamed her. But it was a snooty private school, and I was a first-time mother who couldn’t put the situation into perspective and reassure myself that my daughter would not grow up to be a chronic pants-wetter. She is now 17 and always uses the potty appropriately. Has for years. So, you see? No problema, really.

I found Little Squirt in the office, absolutely gleeful.
“Mommy- guess what I did?” (giggling)
“I know, buddy. Let’s clean you up.” I corralled him into the bathroom and took care of the situation. (Which wasn’t nearly so bad. Just a tiny, little…..well, never mind.)
I tried to do a quick assessment of Little Squirt’s emotional status. Was he traumatized that he might now be labeled “The Kid Who took A Dump In His Pants” for eternity? That he would have classmates remember this situation at all the future Reunions? And forever harass him about it?

He could care less. He actually was a little proud. He held his head high as he walked back down the hall towards his classroom. You gotta love that kind of self assurance.