"We Take Discover"

My long-suffering husband and I had a “Burger King Breakfast and Jean Shopping Date” yesterday. The goal, I told him, was to nurture our marital relationship. My shadow mission, however, was to build my winter wardrobe. By using his credit card. So, after bribing Super Hubs with a breakfast of an egg-and-sausage sandwich and cheesy tots, I dragged him to the nearby outdoor mall with promises to “be in and out in a jiffy.”

We entered American Eagle, and stopped in dismay. There were 6 different shelf units filled with women’s jeans of all shapes, sizes and colors of blue. Where to begin? The friendly sales girl pounced on us, pledging to find me “just the cutest little pair of versatile jeans that would make me look like a 20-something;” jeans that I could wear “to the office” and also for my “evenings out.” (Which spun me into a fantasy of having a high-rise office at a high-powered job upon which I’d leave at 5pm to go out clubbing. So, were they magic jeans? Ones that, when I wore them, would morph me into a Hot Partner At A Law Firm With A Rockin’ Social Life?? Hmmmmm.)

Then she peppered me with questions: Did I want “Skinny?” Or “Bootcut?” “Flair; Real or Extreme?” “Tight through the hips and things, or looser around the legs?” She assured me that I’d look fabulous in “Wide Leg” with the “Rip and Repair Wash” or “Favorite Boyfriend Cut” in the “Super Bleach.” My head spun. It had been a few years since I’d bought a pair of jeans. I had no idea the variety…the enormity of choices…the utter overwhelmingness of possibilities….”I just need a new pair of jeans that are blue. Ones that fit me,” I said definitively.

She gave me a cool once over, and began pulling pants off the shelves and piling them into Super Hubs’ arms. I was then ushered into the unisex dressing room, where I began trying on clothes like a crazed runway model. Super Hubs sat on the bench in the hallway, watching me prance in front of the mirror until his eyes glazed over.

In the end, I left a pile of jeans on the dressing room floor. And I acquired two new purchases, one in “Vintage Destroyed” and the other, “Indigo Wash.” Both felt cozy, friendly and….me. Me with my humble little suburban lifestyle. The three of us were going to become fast friends, I could just tell.

We went home, and I put on “Vintage Destroyed.” “Indigo Wash” rested up in the closet, acclimating to its new home. And Super Hubs crashed on the couch, exhausted. I was beyond happy. It’s a big day when a girl finds the perfect pair of jeans that make her feel fabulous. And an extra pair for half price.