Sexually Speaking

Just call me “Dr. Ruth.” As in Dr. Ruth Westheimer. I had to be a sexpert to a group of middle school girls last Sunday at my church. I am not usually an Eight Grade Girls’ Small Group Leader. I was an Imposter, if you will. I actually lead the Prayer Team that covers Student Ministries in my church. But they were missing a Small Group Leader for the day, and so I was asked to “fill in.” And God, with His wonderful, quirky sense of humor, had me “fill in" on the annual Sex Talk weekend. So I introduced myself to the 12 middle school girls, plunked a bag of jelly-bellies in the center of the table, and glanced at the curriculum.

“Well, girls,” I said, “Do you have any thoughts about the message the pastor gave?”
The blond sitting next to me offered her summary. “I had no idea that holding hands would lead to sex. ” WHAT???
I cleared my throat, deciding to tread carefully. “What was said in the message that made you think that?”
“The slide he showed.” She said.
Another girl jumped in. “No, the slide just showed the progression. You know…holding hands…..kissing…sex. And all the things in between.”
“That’s right!” I said. “His point was that you need to have good boundaries when you begin dating.”
Blank stares. “What are boundaries?” a brunette asked, in between jelly-belly bites.
Boundaries? Hmmmm. My peers and I talked about “bases” back in the day, and snickered about who got to which “base” with whom. I was a pretty innocent middle schooler, and had no idea what all the bases meant before you made it to "home." First base=kissing, second base…...Never mind.
“Boundaries,” I said. “Like fences that you put around to protect yourself.”
“Oh!” one said eagerly, “We just got a fence for our new puppy!”
So on went a discussion about dogs, and who had what kind of dogs, and who liked cats…..and cat hair….and hairstyles of the celebrities…and favorite TV shows…..

I decided to re-direct back to the topic at hand. SEX. We would get through this!
“Well, girls, let’s get back to the topic. Before we go, I just want to know if I can answer any questions for you.”
“I’ve got one!” The cutie to my right said.
Good. I breathed a sigh of relief. I really wanted to be an effective Sexpert Small Group Leader, and I had about 7 minutes left to make that happen! I wanted to leave these girls with a nugget of truth….an incredible perception…..a thought that would shine the light on God’s design for sex. One that they would remember forever…..

“What’s your question, honey?” I asked. “You can ask me anything.”
A pause. “Is it true if you mix two blueberry jelly bellies with one buttered popcorn one it’ll taste like a blueberry muffin?” Asked Cutie.
Another asked, “Did these jelly bellies come in the bag like this or did you get to pick out the flavors?”
Another piped in, “I LOVE the jelly belly factory!”

Big sigh. They didn’t want to talk about sex anymore. They wanted to discuss jelly bellies. So I let them. And I hoped beyond hope that something of that morning’s program on SEX had sunk in.