Gloom and Doomers

What is up with the National Bureau of Economic Research’s announcement that the U.S. has been in a Recession since last December??
My opinions on this announcement:
1.) DUH.
I admit that I am no Economic Genius. (I actually can barely balance my checkbook. Which is why I use a debit card. It’s also much quicker than scrambling in my purse to find a pen when there’s a lot of hostile people behind me in line at the checkout, and then I can never find anything in my purse anyway but some used tissues and old receipts…...but I digress.) I believe that, even among the Economic Non-Genius’ among us who can barely balance a checkbook (Such as myself. See above.), a great big DUH.
2.) What about engaging in The Power of Positive Thinking?
As soon as the Economic Experts made this announcement, stocks took a deep dive. And parents who were planning on indulging their male tots this Christmas by buying them Spike The Ultra Dinosaur, will now return the toy. Which will cause many a tear around the Christmas tree this year. And it’s all the fault of the National Bureau of Economic Research. FOR SHAME, You Children-Hating Donny Downers! What about The Power of Positive Thinking? What if the Expert Schmexperts had instead chosen to indulge in a teeny-weeny white lie? What if they said something like, “Not only are we NOT in a Recession, but the economy is greatly flourishing!” “Things are on the upswing, by golly!!” “The economic future of America looks bright and cheery!! Therefore we highly encourage each citizen to have a champagne toast!!”
Then, I wholeheartedly believe, my friends, that stocks would have vastly risen and consumers would have gone on a Celebration Shopping Spree, subsequently pulling us out of a Recession into a Time of Prosperity. That’s my opinion. (But the experts didn’t ask me.) Again- a great big DUH.

DISCLAIMER:
*The above is the snarky opinion of the writer and not intended to be insensitive to people who are truly struggling financially during this period. May God bless you.
*This commentary is also not an intention to malign any employee of the National Bureau of Economic Research or Returners of Spike The Ultra Dinosaur. Or Recession Champagne Toasters. I believe Champagne Toasting is entirely appropriate in any economy, frankly.
*Bear in mind that this right-brained writer dropped her college Basic Math course because of a failing grade and took the easier community college Accounting class in its place. And only got a B-.