Throne Woes

It’s been a week. How do I describe it…..lemme think. Bad? Worse? Awful? Horrendous? Words just don’t seem adequate……

It began early in the week with a pesky, overflowing toilet that was the fault of one short little child whose name I won’t mention. But he prescribes to the “more is better” theory of Toilet Paper Using. Between that and the way he uses our john as just another garbage can, (albeit wet) garbage can, the thing stopped up. Rock Star tried to come to the rescue with a plunger, bless his heart, which caused the toilet to overflow. He turned off the water connection, threw a small hand towel on the mess, and called it a day. I knew nothing about any of this until I came upstairs later and became alarmed when I noticed squishy carpet beneath my feet. I did not need to call on Nancy Drew to solve that little mystery. I followed the wet trail into the bathroom and saw a flood the size of Lake Michigan on the bathroom floor with one small hand towel floating upon it. So I yelled for help, grabbed all the bath towels in the house, and we soaked up the lake. Then we called a plumber, who came in with a snaky thing and unplugged the toilet. Yea, Snake Man! And we thought all was golden.

Fast forward three days later. Butterfly, ever the observant one, noticed some new large stains on our dining room ceiling when she came home from school yesterday. So after some panicked calls to State Farm and some shuffling through the phone book to find someone, anyone please God, who could come right away to our rescue, a team of workerbees arrived to save the day. They determined that, yes, we were correct in that our toilet overflowed and caused severe water damage to much of the upstairs floor and through the ceiling. Diagnosis: Major Disaster. They will need to pull up carpets and break through the floor and the ceiling. Today they are back and currently rearranging my furniture and draping things in plastic and waving demolition hammers. It’s frightening. The whole process will take at least a week.

I’m only trying to find a quiet, out-of-the-way corner of the house where I can lie down.I need to rest because I’ve been ill. I’ve had some odd spells for a couple of days where I get a head rush and feel like I’m going to faint. Which makes things such as driving risky. And after running through all the possibilities of why my head could be feeling that way, including some very scary diagnosis’ (and as an RN, I know many), today I believe it’s just a virus. I feel feverish and achy. So I am fantasizing about flying away to some condo on the beach, any beach, and lying in the sun while the workerbees fix my house and my body recuperates. If only.

Right now I’d just settle for a room where I can shut the door and take a nap. But the workerbees have hijacked the entire upstairs. And the dining room. I’d go lie down in my car, but it’s 15 degrees outside. (Big deep sigh of martyrdom.) At least we will get new carpet, when all is said and done. And I’ve been wanting new carpet. So there’s some good. And I am desperately looking for the good.