Looks Like We Made It....

Twenty years ago today I was a bride. The Groom wore big glasses and I wore big hair. We were young and naive and idealistic, and marrying at a time when the divorce rate was 50%. However did we make it?

But here we are, twenty years and three children later, and happy as can be. We truly are. I got lucky. And if my Current Middle-Aged Self were to talk to my Young Bride Past Self and give her marital advice, this is what I’d say:

APPRECIATE YOUR DIFFERENCES! At times he will seem to be your bi-polar opposite, but that is a good thing! He is your Completer, and you are his. The things about him that you find charming now will drive you crazy later, but you don’t want him to be a carbon copy of you! Draw on his strengths as he will draw on yours. Your differences will balance each other out and bring harmony to your family. Trust me.

BE HIS CHEERLEADER! Be the voice in his life that builds him up; encourages him; is always on his side. Be an energizing presence. Who wants to live with a nag?

KEEP SECRETS BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU! Don’t smack-talk him to your girlfriends. Don’t discuss details of your intimate life with anyone. Consider your relationship to be sacred.

BE RESPECTFUL! I’m gonna get all Donna Reed on you, but this is important: Keep yourself up. Men are visual, so honor him by trying to look your optimum, to the best of your ability. Don’t get lazy and frumpy and messy and sloppy with yourself or your home. It ain’t attractive. And you want him to find you attractive twenty years from now, yes?

DON’T GET LAZY ABOUT S--! That’s all I’m gonna say about that.

PRAY FOR HIM DAILY! This is the most important advice. You will have trials. Believe me, it won’t be all roses and sunshine in your future. There will be hard stuff. But lift Him up to God daily and pray for everything you can think of. You have no idea this side of Heaven how much your prayers will have helped/prevented/protected, etc.

That’s all I’ve got. If you want better marital adivce than this, find someone who’s been married for 25 or 40 or 60 years. They are my heroes.

But it’s been good. The years have flown, and we are still in love. Twenty years......wow.