She Left Happy Fairy Dust

My sweet mother-in-law was in town from CT for a four-day visit. Even with the death of her husband just four months ago, she still remains the most positive person that I know. The glass is always half-full in her world. Well, I want to drink her half-full glass of Koolaid and live in her Happy Place because she always sees the lovely side of everything! And spending time with her is like downing a Red Bull drink of Happiness; my spirits perk right up. How I needed that visit from her! As I am coming off of some draining relational craziness in my life, I am realizing one important thing about me: Having gracious and contented people in my life is important to my mental well-being. They color my world Happy and point me to the beautiful work of God in my life. They remind me of all that is good. I can catch the Bitter Bug very easily when I am around angry, negative people. I wish I was immune, but I am not. I know, I know; it’s not a stunning psychological break-through or dissertation-material, but it’s real in my life at present. So I am grateful for the simple moments spent with my sunny mother-in-law; browsing shops and watching movies and cooking meals and discussing good books; my life looks rosier after her visit. It was sooo good for my soul. Thanks, Mom, for the gift! Please live forever, okay?

As an aside, I had my parents over for dinner on Saturday night so they could visit with my mother-in-law. I had told Little Squirt ahead of time that all three of his grandparents would be eating dinner together around the dining room table with him. He adores his grandparents with a love so big that it cannot be contained in just his heart, and it oozes out and shows itself in his sparkly eyes and bouncy muscles. He jumped up and down with glee and said, “Which of my grandpas is coming? The Dead One or The Live One??”

21 Random Reasons....

....why I think my husband is the greatest:

1) He reminds me of my beloved, sweet, kind grandfather. Not in a creepy way, but in a feels-so-comfortable kind of way.
2) He does the math homework with the kids.
3) He is a voracious reader of all genres which makes him one of the most interesting people I know.
4) He believes the best about me and defends me when I need an advocate.
5) He does the vacuuming so I don’t have to.
6) He’ll go see chick flicks with me and pretend to enjoy them. Maybe he actually does?
7) When I wanted to adopt a baby, he said, “Let’s go search the world and find ours.” We did that three times.
8) He got up to feed our babies in the middle of the night when I needed my sleep.
9) He has raised the bar high in the way he loves our daughter. If she chooses to marry a man like her father, she knows she’ll be blessed.
10) He drops what he’s doing to play ball with our sons.
11) He offers to give me a back rub almost every night.
12) He’s a safe listener for me to process my stuff.
13) He encourages my woman-friendships and girls nights out.
14) He truly wants me to pursue my dreams.
15) He is godly. The real deal. This I know to be true.
16) He makes me laugh every day.
17) He has served his church faithfully for 14 years without expecting any thanks.
18) He cares about the well-being of his widowed mother.
19) He brought me my favorite creme brulee for my birthday dessert.
20) He works selflessly for our family.
21) He does all the car and lawn maintenance. You gotta love that about a man.

He is a treasure of a man, and the greatest proof of God’s love for me.

Happy 21st Anniversary, Babe!

You Don't Live Here Anymore

I am grateful to the State of IL for their stimulus incentive- appliance rebate! It was just the motivation we needed to trade in our dinosaur of a fridge for a sleek new model.

I’ve been wanting a new refrigerator for years. I inherited Old Fridge when I moved into our home a decade ago, and we had a mutual loathing for one another. It’s been, as therapists call it, a dysfunctional relationship. From the chronically jammed ice maker, to the exterior scratches hidden by Little Squirt art, to the cramped interior with it’s perpetual coat of grime, the fridge was a boil on my kitchen’s backside. And I know it didn’t like me, because every time I opened the door, it’d hurl a frozen food object at my head. But Old Fridge kept food cold and was functional, and we cannot just purchase New And Improved at a whim, so we tolerated one another; Old Fridge and I.

But with the new of the stimulus incentive, I grabbed a girlfriend last Friday, and dragged her to Lowe's. We did a tour down Refrigerator Lane, opening and examining and pondering. In the end, we chose a Whirlpool thingie with French doors, bottom freezer and sterling silver finish. Best of all, I can still attach with magnets all the art that Little Squirt vigorously creates. Once purchased, I spent the weekend before the delivery frettting that New Fridge would be too tall, since I’d forgotten to heed any measurements. My bad.

New Fridge was delivered on Monday, and all went well. Old Fridge was so scummy and begrimed, I winced when the delivery men opened it up. I fully expected them to balk, “Ma’am, we ain’t putting this piece of garbage on our truck,” and drop it on our front lawn. But they were the non-judgmental sort, and replaced Old Fridge with New Fridge without batting an eyelash. I admit to feeling a pang of guilt as I saw Old Fridge being hauled away, destined to go to the Refrigerator Cemetery. But the guilt left in a flash, and I welcomed New Fridge to the family.

New Fridge is beautiful. I think all my other appliances envy the attention I’ve been giving her. She is spotlessly clean and completely organized. She’s a bit shy, but she let me snap a picture of her interior. (No, she is not a sideways fridge; the pic just refused to flip. Yes, that’s an emergency bottle of savignon blanc in her door. I have stress in my life, so don’t judge me. And notice all the fresh fruit and juices? See?? I’m a good mommy!)

I believe New Fridge and I are going to have years of a healthy, functional relationship.

Birthday Week

Birthday Week is over, and it’s now back to business. I seriously need to get some work done. But what a week it was!

My heart’s desire was to spend my birthday in God’s gift of creation. After a breakfast treat of stuffed French Toast with blueberries, Super Hubs and I headed to an arboretum. It was a gorgeous, sunny day in which the spring flowers were peaking. We strolled through the maze garden, watched bluebirds frolic, and took a tram ride through the grounds. We soaked in the daffodil glade, spotted a Golden hawk, and deeply appreciated the brilliant magnolias in full bloom. Spending my birthday with flowers and birds was the exact gift my soul craved!

Later that evening, I was Birthday-Kidnapped by some Anonymous Abductors. They were a group of my friends whom I barely recognized, as they were wearing plastic glasses with noses and moustaches. They took me to a charming little French bistro that specializes in crepes of all kinds. I dined on crepes filled with ratatouille and chicken with goat cheese. We had a bottle of wine, and shared desserts of a fruit crepe which I enjoyed, and a chocolate, banana and caramel crepe that I absolutely adored and have since dreamed about. I will eat those every night for dinner in Heaven!

I have the most wonderful friends! In addition to the Anonymous Abductors, I’ve had my buddies stop by all week with a flowering plant, ingredients to make yummy root beer floats, and offers of meals out. We ended the week having fish tacos and margaritas at an authentic Mexican restaurant with a favorite couple whom we’ve known forever. They are like family. I’ve been abundantly blessed with good friends, and I love them all.

Rock Star shared my Birthday Week, and he turned sweet sixteen. Super Hubs picked him up from school, and they went straight to the DMV where my son successfully passed his Driving test and received his license. We celebrate at his favorite pizza joint, and then he grabbed a friend and headed to the car with the keys for his Maiden Voyage. He had a Best Buy gift card threatening to burn a hole in his pocket, and he needed to do something about that. And have an excuse to drive.

Now 2/3 of my children can drive. God help us and save us all.

Wearing The Sash Of Mommy-Guilt

If it wasn’t bad enough that I turned another year older this week, to add insult to injury I’ve been labeled Worst Mommy in Little Squirt’s classroom, I’m certain. I will wear the crown and sash with humility, because I surely deserve it.

I missed the Young Authors Party at his school today. I remember getting information about it, writing the date my calendar, and thinking at the end of last week, “Oh yes, next Thursday is my son’s Young Author’s Party. I will surely attend with pride, because I love my son and am a Concerned Parent Who Is Supportive Of My Child’s Education.” And that’s the last I remember of it. The whole thing completely slipped out of my mind and vanished, much like my tabby does to the backyard when we leave the sliding glass door open. Simply gone...

...until Little Squirt came home from school and dumped a bag of books out of his backpack. I gasped, my heart dropping to my stomach. “Your Authors Party! I missed it!!” I said horrified. “Yeah, you did. But that’s okay, because while the other children read their books to their parents, I read my books to the principal instead.”

Oh, dear God. Now, in addition to his teacher, I’m fearing that the principal of the school is passing judgment on me! I’m being labeled a Neglectful, Inattentive and Unconcerned Parent who let her little boy sit alone at the party like an orphan child. In reality, they are probably very nice women who are not judging me at all. But I’m judging me. How could I have forgotten a special day in his life like that??

I told Little Squirt that we would have a Young Author’s Party of our own. I made him a root beer float, and he read all his authored books to me. He, my sweet little grace-giver, completely forgave me. My child is amazing that way. Now I just have to forgive myself and move on. If this happened to a friend of mine, I would remind her of all the ways she is a wonderful mother, and tell her to let it go.

So maybe, Young, Energetic Teachers of America, a reminder of special events a few days before they occur would be helpful. Some of us are oldish Mommies in Mid-Life who are dropping estrogen at the same rate the windchill drops in January off Lake Michigan. We get forgetful. We need reminders. And sweet, grace-giving children who allay our guilt as they sip root beer floats.

Good-Bye To 29 Plus

On this eve of the last night of a certain year of my life, I am contemplative. I am looking back on the past year and remembering the good moments, the sad moments, the proud moments, and the awkward ones. I laughed, I grieved, and I cringed. I was stretched in ways that I never hoped to be, but I grew. Life, in all it’s forms, is such a gift! Although I wince at the thought of adding another number to my age, it’s definitely better than the alternative. So thanks, God, for another year!

Capturing some key moments that took my breath away:

A cat in the drywall
A cactus “hug” every morning in Arizona
Ruth Barton books
Small plates and wine with girlfriends at Houlihan’s
Fondue and a diamond ring
Diamond Head
A luau at The Royal Hawaiian
A kiss by a tropical waterfall
The Fourth of July Jeopardy drama
Butterfly’s Graduation party
Zebra-print dorm decor
“Julie and Julia” with a medley of sympaticos
A gift of homemade cinnamon bread
“Winnie-the-Pooh” readings with my youngest
Cooper’s Hawk Restaurant
Spa Bleu
A one-hour massage with a friend
Piping hot coffee with whipped cream made by my mentor
My husband blessing his father
My husband euologizing his father
Holding my niece for the first time
Friday night dates
Yoga class
Tearful phone calls with my prayer warriors
Wine-tasting through FL
Indonesian Peanutbutter Dip
Watching a downpour on Daytona Beach
A play at The Goodman Theater
“Shutter Island” with my teens
A Book Club beginning
Retreats
Monthly Prayer Huddles with the Intercessors
Alexandra Stoddard books
A Seder
Gathering my extended family around my dining room table
A pink hydrangea

And in this next year, I want to learn to dance in the rain........

Oh Please, Let It Be True!

I went to a Seder last week, held by a Messianic Jewish congregation made up of Jews and Gentiles who believe that Jesus is the Messiah foretold by the Hebrew prophets. Rabbi Dan led the Seder, and it was one of the most spiritual moments of my year so far.

Besides the beautiful story of Passover; the holiday commemorating God’s deliverance of the Jews from slavery in Egypt, the congregation then recognizes Jesus as the Lamb of God whose crucifixion allows us to enter into new life with God. The Passover story, the traditional food, and the warm, welcoming fellowship reminded me of this: At the core, I wish I was Jewish. Messianic Jewish, to be clear. And here’s why:

-The Jews get to be God’s chosen people; the blood line through which Jesus was born. How cool is that?
-They can claim ancestors such as Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Let me just say that none of my ancestors were mentioned in the Bible.
-They deeply know their roots, and I admire that.
-They inhabit the story of the Israelites from season to season, becoming intimately familiar with God’s plan of redemption. They remember it; they live it; they teach it to their children.
-The community that I witnessed at the Seder was close-knit and family-like, and I believe Christians churches could learn from them.

And here’s a little-known fact about me: I think I have some Jewish blood going back to my Czech European roots. My aunt, who was in the midst of a genealogical study before she died, told me this. I can only hope.

Eastertide

The Resurrection of.....my Savior.....the earth.....some relationships.
I am grateful.
Peace, Friends.