I Need Filter Camp

We’ve been home from vacation for 5 days, and what a vacation it was! Two weeks of gorgeous weather spent reading on the beach, bike riding on trails paved with moss-covered trees, and eating fabulous food oceanside. We fed turtles, spotted dolphins, went boat riding, and meandered through the beautiful harbour filled with yachts and lighthouse. Our holiday was such a blessing, truly. We don’t often get the pleasure of a two-week vacay, but it worked out this year. I prayed, rested, soul- searched and healed. It was a gift.

On arrival back to reality, I had a 48 hour turnaround time to get Super Hubs and Little Squirt all ready for Father/Son church camp in the wilds of Michigan. They made the 9 hour drive up to the boat launch on Wednesday, where they were escorted across a river and through the woods to our church’s scenic, rustic camp in the U.P. I miss them like crazy, but keep imagining throughout every day all the fun they are having. And all the danger they are in.

I have an over-active imagination. On most days, I can use that super power for good. It enables me to dream and create and think outside the box. But, on the flipside, it can backfire on me like too much cabbage. All the “what ifs” go popping through the right hemisphere of my brain, jump into my mouth and fire straight into my children.

So when Little Squirt woke up on Camp Morning worrying about bears breaking into his cabin, I knew he didn’t get that idea from Super Hubs. And when he fretted that the boat taking him to the camp would speed so fast he’d fly out into the water, I suspected my mellow, easy-going kid was channeling my anxiety. Perhaps it was the prayer I’d prayed over him the night before: “Dear God, please protect my son from snakes and bee stings and sun burn...."

So my wonderful, left-brained, logical, practical husband pulled our youngest aside, and reassured him. He said there was nothing to fear, that he would be by Little Squirt’s side every moment. Just like God. And off they drove to camp, father and son.

And I’ll remember my husband’s reassurance to Little Squirt, and I’ll try not to worry.

19 Years Ago Was A Big Day For Me

This is my first-born, the child who made me a mother. She is my guinea pig kid, the one that has paved a smooth way for her brothers. I cannot believe it's been 10 years since she first made her appearance, forever changing my life for the better.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BUTTERFLY!

Hey- Watch It!

If there is a ball of any shape or size anywhere on the beach, it will inevitably find its way to my head. I have been konked by footballs, nerfballs, and ping pong balls daily for the past two weeks. I’m a ginormous flying object magnet, perching innocently in my beach chair with a book on my lap and my tootsies in the water. If I come home from vacation stupider, we’ll chalk it up to that, as opposed to my blonder hair.

But I’m not complaining. I’d rather get a clocked in the head on the beach than non-clocked not on the beach. Comprende? My mantra has always been: Any day on vacation is better than any day at home.

My Beach Reads

My appetite for books is insatiable, especially when I am in Zen Vacation Mode. I have finished 7 of my 11 beach books. People have been asking me for titles, so here they are, along with my little reviews:

THE FICTIONS
The Help by Kathryn Stockett.
This is my Book Club’s pick for the month, and definitely one of the best books I’ve read this year! I loved it for so many reasons, and cannot wait to dish with my Book Club girls in a few weeks. I devoured this book through 6 states on the drive down, and a few hours on the beach. It’s about Black maids who for white families in Mississippi during the beginning of the civil rights movement. It’s beautifully written, unfolding the story through three different voices. It opened my eyes to a slice of history in our country that I don’t like to think about. I writhe at racism and social injustice. But this book pointed toward hope, love and powerful motherly influence.

Little Bee by Chris Cleave
Another page-turner that I couldn’t put down! This novel was also told through two different voices; a Nigerian teenage orphan, and a British woman. They met during a horrific experience on a beach that forever intertwined their lives and changed them. This was another book that, after I read it, made me appreciate all the good that I am blessed with. I now want to read Chris Cleave’s first book, INCENDIARY. A woman on the beach was reading that one and highly recommended it.

Black Out by Lisa Unger.
A vacation would not be a vacation for me without an assortment of yummy thrillers, and this one did not disappoint me. A happily-married mother of a preschooler has a past. That’s all I’ll reveal. The story is full of flashbacks and twists and turns. It was an ooey-gooey, stay-up-late-to-finish kind of read. One that gave me delicious goose-bumps from my sunny beach chair. I love it when I discover a mystery writer with more titles to her credit. I had come upon Lisa Unger's name in a book review, couldn’t find that exact book at the library, but picked out this one instead. If you love thrillers, check this out.

THE NON-FICTIONS
Praying With The Church by Scot McKnight
I picked this up at a retreat I attended last spring, hoping to learn more about fixed-hour prayer. This book succinctly describes the What, the How and the When, and examines the different styles of prayer in the Catholic and Protestant churches. I found it very helpful.

Together In Prayer by Andrew Wheeler
Okay, I may be biased because I am good friends with the author, but I believe I am reviewing from a place of truth. This is a must-read for any church small group! I have been involved in many church groups over the years where the community prayer time is chaotic and confusing and feels empty and competitive. Andrew writes eloquently about how to pray effectively in community, giving very practical guidelines. He is really helping to shape a culture of unified, life-giving prayer in our church, and I am thrilled he can now share this with the masses through his book. May many churches be blessed through him!

Sabbath by Wayne Muller
If there was a book during this season of my life that I would imagine God dropping down from Heaven to land on my doorstep, this would be it. A friend loaned this to me, probably because she received a Divine Whisper in her ear. "Give this to Kelly and soon!" This book is definitely one of the best books on the Sabbath that I have ever read, giving suggestions throughout of how to create sacred time, space, and rest. I need to run out and buy a copy for myself, and then make a plan for a weekly Sabbath in my harried life. Yes, God, I heard you!

In The Name Of Jesus by Henri Nouwen
This book was homework for the Spiritual Formation program I am engaged in, but I’m grateful for the push to read it. Henri (whose books I adore) writes about Christian leadership from a vastly different viewpoint than I usually hear from the pulpit. He writes about Christian leaders' temptations to be relevant, spectacular and powerful, and how this is a contrast to the life Jesus led. I'd love to believe that church staff lead from an outflow of their spiritual formation. I'd also love this to be required reading for Christian leaders. Henri was wise, humble and godly. He clearly practiced what he preached.

And that’s my list so far. I loved them all! Now excuse me while dive into Snowflower And The Secret Fan.......

Cruising For Dolphins

Little Squirt and I had a Mommy/Son Date last night. We took a sunset cruise on The Vagabond. It was a gorgeous evening, and we hoped to spot some dolphins. We sailed out of Harbour Town under a tropical moon. I sat back, sipped a glass of white wine and enjoyed the sailing experience as Little Squirt ran about the boat with two tow-headed children.

It was supposed to be a dolphin cruise, and the poor captain did his darndest to stalk the dolphins, bringing us into their usual hanging-out habitats. But the dolphins were shy and snotty and elusive, refusing to show themselves to the sailing tourists. The poor mortified captain apologized, saying that in 20 years he’d never led a dolphin cruise without seeing any dolphins. He was completely baffled. Where the heck were they? That led my imagination to wander.....I thought about the movie, "Jaws" and half expected a ginormous thud on the bottom of the boat. Maybe a Great White with a taste for blood was lurking in the waters! “Dun dun. Dun dun.........”

But as we sailed toward a shrimp boat, the captain spotted an Atlantic bottlenose dolphin and her doe. He moved our boat closer to the shrimp boat so we, the faithful tourists that had paid money to see a dolphin, could catch a glimpse of an actual dolphin. And that’s what we got. Just a glimpse, and a big snoot-full of salty sea spray.

Little Squirt was disappointed. He wanted to know why the dolphins didn’t swim up to the boat, sit up on their tails and wave and say hello. I explained that this wasn’t Seaworld, that real dolphins in the ocean don’t behave like that.

“Then we should catch them, train them to do tricks in a pool, and bring them back to the ocean. Then when people are on a dolphin cruise, they would get to see a show!” he reasoned. Hmmm. My child had a good point. A possible future business venture for me, enabling us to permanently live in this Paradise? I'll noodle on it!

The captain apologized at the end of the 2 hour cruise, saying that they’d give us each a voucher for a free cruise this week, since the dolphin sighting was so lame. My precocious 8yo raised his hand and loudly asked the captain, “Since we’ll get a free cruise, could we get free snacks and drinks, too??” Hmmm. Another good point. A free glass of pinot grigio would almost make another lame dolphin cruise worth it.

Butter Baby Me

I wanted a nightcap last eve; just a simple little nightcap to finish my evening. In particular, I wanted a Butter Baby. I had a lovely pink-tinged vision of relaxing with my husband in a cozy oceanside hotel bar, sipping the creamy drink. We’ve been with a very active Little Squirt almost 24/7 for the past few days, and we needed a little bit of time alone to catch up and unwind.

We went to two different island bars to hunt down my request, and if it hadn’t been so late, we would have gone to more. Butter Baby yield= 0. Menus full of pina coladas and mojitos and flavored martinis. But no sensible nightcaps.

We ended up at a hotel bar right on the beach; the Tikki Lounge. (Why is there a bar called the Tikki Lounge at every tropical destination?) We sat under the stars, palm trees gently swaying in the breeze, and listened to a man sing Jimmy Buffet tunes. But all they served were fruity tropical drinks, which I am not a fan of. So I surrendered to a margarita on the rocks, which was as girly-drinky as I was going to get.

No Butter Baby, but no matter. It’s a lovely vacation, and I’m not going to complain about a beachside margarita on a gorgeous July evening.

What Lurks Beneath

Another gorgeous day in Paradise! We spent our usual 5ish hours on the beach this morning with Little Squirt. There was a lovely breeze which kept the shore temp comfortable. When I arrived back to the villa to shower after our beach time, I found Rock Star still sleeping. It was 3pm! Good morning, Sunshine! Apparently his shark-fishing expedition last night wore him out and he needed 15 hours of sleep.

Speaking of that, here’s how I felt about him and Super Hubs going on a shark-fishing boat yesterday: Apprehensive. Uneasy. Above average with concern, even. My vast Shark Knowledge Base comes from watching the epic movie, Jaws. In it, a Great White terrorized the waters of Long Island, eating jolly vacationers, clueless residents, a fishing boat, and a helicopter, if I remember correctly. And the Great White’s baby continued the family tradition a few years later with another mass murdering spree along the coast in Jaws II. Based on reality? I’m certain it must be, because we all know that Hollywood never fictionalizes anything. So all I could think about, while my husband and first-born son were in the middle of the Atlantic, was a Great White munching the side of their boat. (Cue the Jaws theme song.)

But, as it happily turned out, they arrived back to the harbor safe and sound. My men spotted hammerheads, Atlantic sharpnoses and spinner sharks. Not a Great White was to be seen, which is a relief. But here’s what gave me pause this week: Just when I thought I was aware of all the dangers lurking in the ocean, I learned I was wrong. Alligators apparently don’t just stay put in the lagoons around here. Not to be outdone by the Vacationers, they occasionally enjoy a day at the beach themselves.

Lord have mercy! A 'gator sharing the waters at the exact time we were in the same waters just a few miles down the beach.....let's just say I'm enjoying quality time planted in my beach chair for the rest of this trip.

Zen-ing With Zeal

We have friends from home that happen to be vacationing nearby this very week, so we met up yesterday at the beach, then strolled into Harbour Town after dinner. Little Squirt was thrilled to have playmates join his frolicing. We watched the sunset over the sound and ate ice cream cones from the Cinnamon Bear.

My hair is bleaching out, I’m burned in odd places and sporting a raccoon tan. I’ve finished four books and a pound of fudge. I’m forgetting to floss, staying up way past my bedtime, and permitting my boys to be messy. It’s all part of the vacation experience, so I refuse to feel guilty.

It’s Day #4 of our trip, and I’m feeling myself relax and unwind at last. No hurry, no worrry. Maybe the hot southern sunshine is melting my brain cells, but I’m stress-immune and I love it. This Tropical Mama is just sitting back, hanging loose and letting the little things go. Who cares if there’s a foot of sand in the trunk of our car? Who’s fretting that my youngest has drunk nothing but root beer since we hit Kentucky? Not Mellow Moi! Pour me another glass of pinot and and let’s have a Tranquility Toast, shall we?

Beginning To Feel The Peace

I indulge in an Orgy of Eating while on vacation, which is an important part of my Soul Care Experience. For serious. I believe it’s good, when ever possible, to simply live in the moment.....tasting and enjoying the colors and textures of the food, and being grateful for those pleasures. No worrying about calories, or the price, within reason. Crab bisque, blackened mahi with pineapple salsa, and a crisp savignon blanc was my repast last night. I consumed it at Topside at the Quarterdeck, one of my favorite restaurants in the world. It sits above Harbour Town, and overlooks the sound. Super Hubs and I eat here every single visit to the island, while watching the boats.

We spent another day at the beach, where I finished two more books, took a long walk rescuing sand dollars, spied a horseshoe crab, and buried Little Squirt.

As I viewed the sign at the Lifeguard station this morning, I had an inspiration. What if I got my own big ol’ Lifeguard sign and stuck it in my kitchen, giving family and visitors fair warning on my daily disposition and mental outlook?
On Duty- Me. (Mom.) Duh!
Hours- 8-6:30, then I’m done and punched out for the day. Go bother Dad after that.
High- 8:45am will be my best mood, then it’s all downhill from there.
Low- 4:30p. Got the grumpies. Don’t even talk to me. Slowly back away from The Mommy!
Messages: Be open minded and kind to your siblings. Keep the counter tops clean.
$500 fine for eating food in the living room.

What do you think?

Craving Peace

It’s Vacation Time- the very best part of my year! Four out of five of us are on the beautiful island of Hilton Head, South Carolina, my home-away-from-home. I have been coming here almost annually since I was nine years old. My grandparents lived on this island, so I grew up spending several weeks here every summer and the occasional Christmas or Spring Break. My grandparents are long gone, as is the quietness of the island. But some of my favorite things here have remained the same for the past 30 years; Harbour Town with its lighthouse and Gregg Russell Live, CQs with it’s fabulous dining, and the spotless beaches. I have been to beaches all over the world, and Sea Pines Beach remains my very favorite.

Butterfly is not here, marking a milestone as our first family vacation without her. She is a collegiate now, and opted to stay home and work, banking money for her next semester. My parents are keeping her company as is our Barky VonShnauzer and the cats, so she’s good. But I miss her. I am maternal to the core of my being, and I feel disquieted when one of my chickadees isn’t in the nest. It feels like I’m missing an appendage, much like the poor starfish I saw on the beach today. But Butterfly is growing up, so I need to let her.

We spent our first vacation day today being peaceful. I really mean it. I refuse to be a Highly Strung Type A Overachiever on this trip, and I told Super Hubs that this very morning. No hurry-scurrying to be the first family on the beach and the proud rulers of the best parking spot. No setting a rigid agenda to make certain every inch of our time is filled with responsible vacation activity.

I want to rest, care for my soul, and find myself again. I’m feeling a little beaten-up. The truest parts of who I am and what I am called to do have been buried behind people-pleasing this past year. I am drained from some dysfunctional relationships, which has made my Joy-Ometer hover at Very Low. Adding to all that is some grief and loss. Super Hubs and I have lost a father, an aunt and an uncle in the past 6 months. It all adds up to Weary Us.

So here’s my daily Vacay Agenda: Love my family and care for my soul. That will mean whatever I feel like it means for the next two weeks. We will enjoy some bike rides, walks on the beach, and a 500 piece puzzle. I will rest, read, pray, and eat fabulous food.

This afternoon I finished a yummy novel from my beach chair. Then Little Squirt and I took a long walk, rescuing beached starfish and sand dollars. It was good. Tonight Super Hubs will take me on a Date Night, and I’m hoping it’ll include fresh seafood. And good wine. Could I be that lucky?

Happy Fouth, Friends!

Happy Fourth of July to my friends!
Here are my family’s weekend’s highlights:
-Eating an al fresco Chinese food dinner with some long-term friends.
-The Lakeside Festival with it’s extravagantly high ticket prices for some chintzy carnival rides on scarily outdated equipment. But there was cotton candy, so the whole thing was worth it.
-Watching Little Squirt sing “Free” with the Children’s Choir on the church’s main stage. The little ones were all precious and adorable and so serious. I always cry watching my baby serve his church in this way.
- Eating grilled steak and sweet corn on a patriotically-decked table at my parents' house. Then watching a beautiful fireworks display from the sidewalk near their home.
-Seeing familiar faces at my community’s endlessly long parade. It was hot, folks. I like hot and am not complaining. But after 2 1/2 hours of sitting there, I was wiped out.
-Our traditional “perfect” dinner for those summer evenings when I should BBQ but don’t have the energy: KFC drumsticks, mashed potatoes and biscuits.
-Stealing some moments here and there to almost-finish "Confessions of a Prairie Bitch."
All in all a wonderful holiday weekend.