My young child’s innocence…...its sweetness……I want to bottle it up, treasure it, and hold it tightly to my heart. But even as I celebrate its unblemished shine, I grieve the thought of its eventual transformation into awareness…..worldliness……self consciousness. It’s inevitable.
But for now, Little Squirt believes he can find a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, heal a broken heart with a Band-Aid application, reapply a fallen rose petal, and resurrect a deceased child. When I told him I was going to a funeral because a friend’s young daughter had passed away, he joyously said, “Let me go with you! I’ll take her by the hand and say, “Get up!” just like Jesus did. It’ll work, Mom. Then she’ll be okay.” If only.
And today, after explaining that we didn’t need to go to school because he has three days off, he said, “If I find a wishing well, I will wish that every day is a school day.”
He lives in a world where wishing wells and Tooth Fairies are real. Where death is only temporary; just a fleeting condition like a cold. Where Mommies and Daddies stay married forever, and a spritz over his bed of Chanel #5 will keep monsters at bay. He snuggles warmly under his covers without a care in the world, knowing to the core of his being that he is deeply loved.
Today, as he snuggled on my lap, I smelled his little boy scent of watermelon shampoo, fresh air and sweat. I breathed deeply, cherishing the fragrance of innocence, wishing I could capture this moment forever.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Firsts
New beginnings…….
Rock Star began his first week of high school after 7 years of being home schooled. So far so good. He’s navigated the large public high school arena without any major mishaps.
And Little Squirt…..(Sniff)…. began kindergarten today. He insisted on wearing his yellow rain slicker and hood buttoned all the way to the top because of the inclement weather. The only part of him you could actually see was his huge grin. Super Hubs dropped us off in front, as the principal greeted the little ones and encouraged parents to walk them to their classrooms if they preferred. Well, I preferred. Little Squirt indulged me, and happily swung my hand all the way to Room 21, where his lovely teacher greeted him with a big hug. I snapped a picture, then skedaddled back to my car in tears as I left my baby boy. Super Hubs took me out to my favorite breakfast place to cheer me up, where I dined on comfort food of cream cheese-stuffed French Toast with blueberries. We had a coffee toast to a Kindergarten-Entry Gone Right.
Then a quick couple of hours later, Little Squirt was back at home with a rampant case of School Day Dementia. “I don’t remember nuffin’ so stop asking me,” he said, between bites of PB&J.
All is well.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Hooked
I am giving this U-Verse thing mixed reviews. One the one hand, it’s delightful. I had a friend over for dinner the other night, and I could happily relish her company while taping my favorite show to watch later. And it merrily tapes all the “Mad About You” shows for me, so I don’t have to buy the dvd set. I can leisurely enjoy a marathon of that popular 90s sitcom when I have the time.
On the other hand….already my brain is turning to mush. I can tell because I am making poor parenting decisions. For example, Little Squirt and I have been enjoying hanging out alone all week while The Teens are back in school. Today I made spaghetti for lunch. I turned on the TV with the intent of going to the music channel, so we could dine with the lovely Vivaldi playing in the background. Or jazz. Something relaxing. But as I was surfing to find the music channel, I happened upon “Clean House.” It was about a family that lived in pig sty surroundings, not unlike Rock Star’s bedroom earlier in the summer. A team of talented people came to the rescue and turned their squalid surroundings into an organized showplace in no time at all. I was hooked.
Little Squirt and I grabbed our plates and ate on the coffee table, eyes glued to the set. Now that’s not Good Parenting. I had a number of options to do with my 6-year-old that hour after eating, none of which included (what my mother used to call) The Boob Tube. But what’s done is done. Yes, we lost an hour of our lives that could have been spent swinging at the park, playing Go Fish or reading Curious George. Instead, I got swallowed up in meaningless drivel. Which is okay on occasion. I’m just a little worried I’ll make this a habit. Because then there are the soaps……
On the other hand….already my brain is turning to mush. I can tell because I am making poor parenting decisions. For example, Little Squirt and I have been enjoying hanging out alone all week while The Teens are back in school. Today I made spaghetti for lunch. I turned on the TV with the intent of going to the music channel, so we could dine with the lovely Vivaldi playing in the background. Or jazz. Something relaxing. But as I was surfing to find the music channel, I happened upon “Clean House.” It was about a family that lived in pig sty surroundings, not unlike Rock Star’s bedroom earlier in the summer. A team of talented people came to the rescue and turned their squalid surroundings into an organized showplace in no time at all. I was hooked.
Little Squirt and I grabbed our plates and ate on the coffee table, eyes glued to the set. Now that’s not Good Parenting. I had a number of options to do with my 6-year-old that hour after eating, none of which included (what my mother used to call) The Boob Tube. But what’s done is done. Yes, we lost an hour of our lives that could have been spent swinging at the park, playing Go Fish or reading Curious George. Instead, I got swallowed up in meaningless drivel. Which is okay on occasion. I’m just a little worried I’ll make this a habit. Because then there are the soaps……
Sunday, August 24, 2008
To V or Not TV?
We just purchased U-Verse, because I thought we needed to become even lazier than we already are. Why encourage my kids to read Jane Austin, when it’s easier for them to just flip through a smörgåsbord of 200 channels? Is having their minds dull and sluggish really such a bad thing? Now I can get rid of those nasty library cards! And what can be more bonding as a family than to hunker down on the sofa, watch the quality “Celebrity Plastic Surgery,” and gain 30# a piece of Twinkie weight?? Isn’t there an old adage that says, “The Family That Grazes Together Stays Together??” Or, if “Celebrity Plastic Surgery” is not to everyone’s liking, we can spread out upon the 4 TV’s in the house and each watch our own program. Ahhh, the beauty of diversity.
The U-Verse Dude was here at our home a few days ago setting this up. He examined our basement, fiddled around with the big silver box in the park across the street, and made nice with the shadowing Little Squirt. He fell on the floor laughing hysterically when he saw our bedroom television, purchased in the mid-eighties, complete with a knob to change channels. And in about four hours he’d worked his magic and we became a U-Verse Family.
Now I have no idea how to work the TV! The remote scares me. It’s got too many options and I’m afraid if I press the wrong one I will blow something up. Or red flag Homeland Security. But, although this was clearly not my idea (hence the dripping sarcasm in the first paragraph), I consented to the opinion of the majority. So off I go to learn U-Verse code words. I am delightedly finding out that I can record my favorite shows to watch later, kind of like Tivo in U-Verse Land. And if I am in a “Scott Bao” kind of mood, I can plug in his name, and up comes all the listings for “Happy Days” and “Charles in Charge.” And, I must admit, we’ve never had such a sparkling clear picture.
So maybe this won’t be such a bad thing after all. We do have long winters in Chicago…..
The U-Verse Dude was here at our home a few days ago setting this up. He examined our basement, fiddled around with the big silver box in the park across the street, and made nice with the shadowing Little Squirt. He fell on the floor laughing hysterically when he saw our bedroom television, purchased in the mid-eighties, complete with a knob to change channels. And in about four hours he’d worked his magic and we became a U-Verse Family.
Now I have no idea how to work the TV! The remote scares me. It’s got too many options and I’m afraid if I press the wrong one I will blow something up. Or red flag Homeland Security. But, although this was clearly not my idea (hence the dripping sarcasm in the first paragraph), I consented to the opinion of the majority. So off I go to learn U-Verse code words. I am delightedly finding out that I can record my favorite shows to watch later, kind of like Tivo in U-Verse Land. And if I am in a “Scott Bao” kind of mood, I can plug in his name, and up comes all the listings for “Happy Days” and “Charles in Charge.” And, I must admit, we’ve never had such a sparkling clear picture.
So maybe this won’t be such a bad thing after all. We do have long winters in Chicago…..
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Good-Bye Grill
Yesterday was a day to celebrate! Rock Star finally had his braces removed. (Did he actually only wear them for two years? My gosh, it seemed like 20!) I really think the orthodontist removed Rock Star’s braces just to get us the heck out of his practice. My son was clearly not the Star Patient. He consumed everything on the “Do Not Eat” list, brushed his teeth only on Tuesdays and holidays, wore his rubber bands NEVER, and don’t get me started on the headgear.
And because my son was so non-compliant, I felt judged. My Discernment Barometer detected slight chilliness toward me on the part of the office staff. And overwhelming disapproval. And since I’m such a sensitive soul, I’d hang my head in shame whenever I walked through their door, and hide in a corner behind a magazine. Then would come the moment I detested the most of all- The Lecture at the end of the appointment. I’d be cornered by an Ortho. Tech. wearing purple scrubs and carrying a clipboard. With a furrowed brow, she’d go over every fault and failure of Rock Star’s since his last appointment, and she’d throw in a few of mine. She’d end with a patronizing, “You really need to be monitoring his oral hygiene a little better, Mrs. Incompetent Mother” or some such. I’d slink out to my car. But for pity’s sake, the boy is 14! I cannot be on him every second!
Now we are done with all of that, I thank the Good Lord. Except for the retainer. I will pick it up tomorrow so that Rock Star can kick it under his bed and forget about it. So eventually, down the road, his teeth will shift back to their former crookedness. But that won’t be my problem anymore. It’ll be his. Or his wife’s. Then she can deal with the cold and surly office staff. I’m done. Wohoo!!
And because my son was so non-compliant, I felt judged. My Discernment Barometer detected slight chilliness toward me on the part of the office staff. And overwhelming disapproval. And since I’m such a sensitive soul, I’d hang my head in shame whenever I walked through their door, and hide in a corner behind a magazine. Then would come the moment I detested the most of all- The Lecture at the end of the appointment. I’d be cornered by an Ortho. Tech. wearing purple scrubs and carrying a clipboard. With a furrowed brow, she’d go over every fault and failure of Rock Star’s since his last appointment, and she’d throw in a few of mine. She’d end with a patronizing, “You really need to be monitoring his oral hygiene a little better, Mrs. Incompetent Mother” or some such. I’d slink out to my car. But for pity’s sake, the boy is 14! I cannot be on him every second!
Now we are done with all of that, I thank the Good Lord. Except for the retainer. I will pick it up tomorrow so that Rock Star can kick it under his bed and forget about it. So eventually, down the road, his teeth will shift back to their former crookedness. But that won’t be my problem anymore. It’ll be his. Or his wife’s. Then she can deal with the cold and surly office staff. I’m done. Wohoo!!
Monday, August 18, 2008
Flying The Coop
I brought Little Squirt to his new school today to have his Individual Assessment. (Translation: Is Your Kid Smart Enough To Enter Kindergarten?) While my boy was meeting with his teacher, I sat in the waiting area and filled out an endless form, which asked questions such as:
What your child's 3 greatest strengths?
1. Lip syncing songs from multiple genres, with extreme proficiency in rap, reggae and 80s pop revised.
2. Making authentic farty noises with his armpits.
3. Incorporating the word “butt” into his every sentence.
What would your goal be for your child’s school success this year?
That he would officially learn to urinate only in the toilet. (I choose to aim high.) (Pun not intended.)
After I had finished with the questionnaire, I had time to sit and reflect, while I waited for Little Squirt. My Little Caboose…..The Grand Finale… The Last of the Fledglings....would be leaving the nest soon. (Sniff.) My child, who just yesterday was an adorable little bologna loaf with huge eyes and an ever-present smile, would be leaving me! I was handing him off to the professionals to be educated within these cold halls of academia. (Big sniff.)
Then the warm and sunny kindergarten teacher shuffled the beaming Little Squirt back to my presence. “He did very well,” she said. “We’ll see him when school begins next week!” Then she handed me a little Mother’s Survival Kit, complete with a tissue, cotton ball and tea bag. The note said, “Thank you for entrusting your child to me….After you have wiped your tears, make yourself a nice warm cup of tea. Put your feet up and relax. Then hold the cotton ball in your hand. The softness will help you to recall the gentle spirit of your child. I will work alongside you this year to help your child grow.”
(Sob.) My Baby Boy……My Munchkin Muffin..... I needed to use the tissue by the time I got to the car.
What your child's 3 greatest strengths?
1. Lip syncing songs from multiple genres, with extreme proficiency in rap, reggae and 80s pop revised.
2. Making authentic farty noises with his armpits.
3. Incorporating the word “butt” into his every sentence.
What would your goal be for your child’s school success this year?
That he would officially learn to urinate only in the toilet. (I choose to aim high.) (Pun not intended.)
After I had finished with the questionnaire, I had time to sit and reflect, while I waited for Little Squirt. My Little Caboose…..The Grand Finale… The Last of the Fledglings....would be leaving the nest soon. (Sniff.) My child, who just yesterday was an adorable little bologna loaf with huge eyes and an ever-present smile, would be leaving me! I was handing him off to the professionals to be educated within these cold halls of academia. (Big sniff.)
Then the warm and sunny kindergarten teacher shuffled the beaming Little Squirt back to my presence. “He did very well,” she said. “We’ll see him when school begins next week!” Then she handed me a little Mother’s Survival Kit, complete with a tissue, cotton ball and tea bag. The note said, “Thank you for entrusting your child to me….After you have wiped your tears, make yourself a nice warm cup of tea. Put your feet up and relax. Then hold the cotton ball in your hand. The softness will help you to recall the gentle spirit of your child. I will work alongside you this year to help your child grow.”
(Sob.) My Baby Boy……My Munchkin Muffin..... I needed to use the tissue by the time I got to the car.
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