Check Mate

Sometimes I wish I could wear a marquee upon my head, so I could alert people to my current temperature without having to explain:
“PMSing, therefore in a rage. Kindly step aside before I smack you.”
Or:
“Distressed. Please offer hug. Or a dirty martini, straight up.”

I am just insane when I am lacking sleep. And I’ve been battling insomnia all week. My marquee of today should read:
“Warning: Functioning at 2% brain capacity. I am nonsensical and illogical. And my memory is shot. And my memory is shot. And my memory is shot.”

This evening I carved up something from my vegetable bin that I thought was a zucchini, and grilled it. Turns out, it was a ginormous cucumber. Which tastes dreadfully dreadful grilled. I just could not remember what I had purchased on grocery shopping day! And I couldn’t find my table cloth, which I swear I remember washing and putting away on Tuesday…..but now it’s gone. Just gone. How does one lose a tablecloth?? And then I opened a door on my foot, thus scraping off part of the nail on my big toe….ow……

I blame it all on the insomnia. And the insomnia blames it all on the stress. And the stress blames it all on the horrible people that are behaving in a vile manner toward my teenagers. It’s been a heckuva coupl’a days. My two oldest children are licking wounds this week caused by some wretched people that are in their lives. And when wretched people hurt my children, my Mother Bear claws come out and I want justice. No, I want revenge, truth be told. (Would some public beheadings in the town square be over-the-top??)

It’s hard, as a mother, to watch my children hurt. Or maybe they don’t hurt as I much as I hurt when they hurt?? (I told you! Insomnia=Illogical) Do I let them fight their own battles? Or follow my instincts and jump in front of them, guns blazing? (Metaphorically speaking.) And how do I teach them forgiveness, when it’s the farthest thing on my heart at present? Gosh it was easier when they were babies!

So, for tonight, I’ll put them in the hands of The Good Shepherd, whose rod and staff will protect and comfort them…….and then I’ll take two bendadryl and try to figure it out in the morning.