Connections

To bond or not to bond? That is the question. I believe it was first posed by Hamlet…….or Pierce Brosnan……or The Elmer’s Glue Company or something. I’m not quite certain. But I ponder it now, as Rock Star has a new relationship in his life.

He is once again navigating the Dating Terrain, if you can call it that. Dating in the world of a 14-year-old, I’ve discovered, involves a tad bit of clumsy hand-holding and a lot of marathon t.v. watching. And bike-riding to the 7 Eleven for slurpees. Rock Star is again going out with Cute Girlfriend of the Sad Breakup of last summer. Which had me wary at first. What if Cute Girlfriend again called off their romance by a curt and unexpected text message, thus stomping on Rock Star’s tender heart and leaving it crushed and bleeding all over the street?? Allowing my children to make their own mistakes and hurt their own hurts is, I believe, the absolute hardest thing about being a parent. I just hate that part.

But back to the bonding. I don’t want to! I don’t want to bond with people that will leave my life someday. I bonded with Butterfly’s boyfriend of 1 1/2 years. It was as if I had a third son; he enjoyed my cooking, accompanied us on family outings, and shared much of our lives. Then one day there was a messy break up between the two of them, and I’ve never seen him again. It's sad, really.

And I am beginning to like Cute Girlfriend. She is charming and adorable. She's a determined "go-getter"; the polar opposite of my eldest son. She has convinced him to wear Polos instead of his gnarly t-shirts. (Halleluia!) She has exposed him to more sophisticated music. And she’s written him a love letter. A sweet love letter! To my boy! What’s not to adore about a girl like that??

But yet….I realize that someday the inevitable will happen. They will break up. And then she won’t be coming around to our house for dinner anymore. (Big sigh.) And I am a bond-er. Which makes this piece of mothering excruciatingly difficult for me.