Here I am, at the top of ’09. Another year gone. Another year that I am older. Another year that I am wiser? Possibly crazier?? Historically I have embraced The New Year! I love mornings, clean slates, do-overs. Fresh beginnings.
In the past, I made an annual list of resolutions which were usually about improving my body and/or home. Last year, in a fleeting moment of maturity, I embraced some character work as my resolution choice. And I blogged about it, for accountability. I practiced “gratitude.” And I really did, last year. To Know What Is Great In '08. I encompassed being thankful as a discipline. And on many, many days over the past year, it took sheer willpower to look around and force myself to see what was right in my world. But as I committed to doing that, God worked on forming me into a person with a grateful heart. The year brought much pain, but God, in His amazing, wondrous way, gave me fresh eyes to view the beauty in my life. To see His hand in the midst of trials. To look around, and say, regardless of troubles, “It is good.” There has been so much goodness in my life. And as I have practiced looking for the good and being thankful, I can honestly say that I have more contentment, and I feel more joy despite circumstances. Do I check “gratitude” off my list now? Mission accomplished? No. I am still a work in progress. I will continue to practice gratitude as a daily discipline, and trust God to continue to shape my heart.
Now a New Year dawns. And I enter it in a place of burnout. Even my body is starting to show physical symptoms that I am depleted. I have been soul-weary for several months due to some personal, deeply painful circumstances. And I’ve been carrying the weight of some volunteer activities that I hadn’t intended to do. There have been many times this year that I have been attending meetings 5 nights a week out of a sense of responsibility. I am an over-dependable first-born. If a ball is dropped, I run to catch it. I want to hold things together, and keep everybody happy. Darn my conscientiousness! It serves only to make me resentful. But now, in this New Year, I am feeling God telling me to “Do less.” Be okay with disappointing others. Be more available to my family. Let go of the things God is asking me to let go of and trust Him to take care of them without my help. Simplicity Is Mine In '09.
I’m certain God will keep His end of the bargain. Can I keep mine? We’ll see. I’ll look back in one year, at the top of 2010, and hopefully will find myself in a place of soul-health. Isn’t that key?
Make ’09 a good year, friends, and maybe consider one baby step in personal growth? I’m just sayin’. Happy New Year to all!
2 comments:
Burn-out. Been there. It's ugly. Awful. And you can beat it. I'm a repeat offender. Let me know if a pilgrim a few miles (years) in front of you can offer any thoughts. The last thing anybody dealing with it needs is someone saying "awww ... cheer up!" Those people need to be hurt by big rocks.
Simplify! Every year I try and make the time to read a few special books over again - some don't make it one year or another, but they are good old books with a good message that seem to speak to me a little differently year by year. I'm also resolved to try and remind myself that "they are only kids once and very soon they will be gone and I will miss them and all this CHAOS!" LOL!
Post a Comment