Pass Me The Olives, Please!

I’ve always tried to be an “If Life Gives You Lemons, Make a Lemon-tini” kind of person. (That’s probably a loose translation of the old adage. I can’t remember it exactly.) So to celebrate the despised ever-plunging arctic temperatures, Little Squirt and I made “Mitten Ice Cream” yesterday. Every recipe I make with my 5-year-old involves a boatload of patience and the entire crew of Merry Maids.

I allowed him to pour the milk, sugar and vanilla into a little baggie, then we put that concoction into a bigger plastic bag filled with ice cubes and salt. Spider Man mittens warming his chubby little hands, Little Squirt kneaded the milk mixture back and forth with my coaching. The process should take only 5 minutes, according to the recipe testers, who clearly have never met, never mind made ice cream with a kindergartener.

He kneaded it for 10 seconds, then declared himself “too tired” to continue. Noooooo. I would not tolerate slothfulness! I gently made him pick up the bag and try again. He worked the milk mixture again for another 6 seconds, sloshing liquid all over everything, then complained that it was “too hard” and he could not do it anymore. To that remark I reminded him of the strong work ethic of the noble “Little Engine That Could,” trying with all his might and main to pull a load up the hill; all the while saying, “I think I can, I think I can.” My strong-willed son, never one to be influenced by a goody-goody fictional steam engine, announced, “Well, I think I can’t!” and lied down on the floor.

I caved. I picked up the bag, and rolled it about on the table for 10-15 minutes until it turned into something that resembled anemic squash. I gave him the bag and a spoon. He tasted it, proclaimed it “yucky”, and dropped it on the floor. The dog ran into the room and happily lapped it up.

So I go back to my original statement. Forget about “Mitten Ice Cream.” If life gives you lemons or depressing frigid temperatures, just make the martini. And sip it slowly in front of a cozy fire.