Monday, January 28, 2008

Pimp My Cage


In a rare self-nurturing move last summer, I decided to buy something that I had always wanted as a child but had been forbidden: A hamster. I know it seems like an odd purchase choice for a mother of three who already has a household that includes three cats and a dachshund, but I.Did.It.For.Me. And I’ve had no regrets, although I think the hamster probably did post-mortemly, after she escaped her cage and snacked on an electrical cord that sent her on a ride over the River Styxx into Eternity.

I then “replaced” her with Hamster #2 that I have grown so very fond of. She is, in my biased opinion, the absolutely most adorable hamster on the planet! I named her Charity, after a character quality I hope to exude more of. She has a fabulous life and a hot three-level condo. When I bought Hamster #1, the sales person could clearly smell a sucker with loose pockets; insisting that a privileged hamster need nothing less than a large aquarium habitat with a fancy two level attachment. And then she added a bunch of other mysterious things to my cart that she said I would need for it’s health and well-being and emotional security or something, and, $120 later, I left the pet store with my hamster and her new pad with accessories.

When I got home and put everything together, this created a rather chic hamster space that I admit to coveting at times. It is like a Barbie dream house, only much better! The hamster condo has a large first floor area with a light, airy feel, which includes a cozy alcove in the corner that contains the sleeping area. The upstairs contemporary kitchen has all the amenities a happy domestic hamster could want. The middle level is a trendy loft with a bar; good for hanging out with a drink and thinking deep hamster thoughts. It is decorated in smooth, clean lines, and only good chi flows down the staircases. It’s so darn sweet, I’m certain it’s the envy of all the other hamsters in the neighborhood. Should it ever go on the market, I sense it will be snatched up immediately.

So Hamster #2 moved into The Dearly Departed Hamster #1’s domain, and has added a few touches that have made it her own. And she has been quite happy living there, until today. There apparently was an undetected hole in her water bottle that leaked, flooding her entire first floor in a manner worthy of Hurricane Katrina’s finest effort. I found my hamster safe and sound, having escaped up the stairs to the second floor loft, seeking drier grounds. But she was a little peeved. So I gave her the run of her hamster ball, while I ran around redecorating her pad with fresh, clean pine shavings, a new water bottle, and hot new wheel; the finest in rodent home decor. Then I served her an amazing dinner complete with apple-flavored cedar stick dessert to make up for my negligence. She seemed very grateful. I love to spoil her immensely. Call it nurturing my inner child through my rodent, or just call it mammal co-dependency. I don’t really care. It works for both of us.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's one happy hamster. She now enjoys a better 'crib' than many a critter.

Anonymous said...

May we all be influenced by your rodent codependancy. And may all good hamsters come to fully understand the significance of their role in our lives. My duaghter's hamster, Merry, and I have a thing. It's not a wierd thing, but it's a thing. We understand each other. She sits in my hands as if she knows the peace she brings. Then, of course, after a short time, she searches for some dark corner to hide in, indicative of the animal instict to hide (which I can sometimes identify with). May we bring joy to our hamsters in the way you have. Posh yet earthy.

Anonymous said...

I remember when those habitrail things first came out (I think) in the 70s and we were just dying for a hamster with a habitrail. Instead, we got a pair of guinea pigs in a plywood box and I was very sad -- then I found out I was allergic! I envy you and your hamster buddy and its dream house, Kelly!

Kelly said...

We had guinea pigs once. They were very cute but also very stinky. That's what I like about hamsters; their smallness.