In The Blink Of An Eye

If I ever, in the midst of a mid-life crisis or something, decide to pursue a career as a Wedding Consultant, you have permission to shoot me. I really mean it. Please shoot me first and put me out of my misery pre-emptively. I already know I would deplore a job like that because I barely survived being Personal Prom Assistant to my daughter. I am completely, thoroughly, 100% bushed after this weekend. Thankfully it was just a temporary job, and I have turned in my name badge and tiara and retired until next year.

This being my one and only daughter and her very first Prom, I had no idea the short-term career would be so taxing! The appointment-making, the consulting on hair styles and nail colors, the buying of boutonnière and garter, the offering of affirming words at Key Stress Moments, “Yes, sweetie, you will look gorgeous. No, darling, I don’t believe anyone will be wearing the same dress;” all I can muster is a big “Whew!” But mostly, I was not prepared for all the whining and fussing and gnashing of teeth (which were actually from Super Hubs as he viewed the various Prom bills.)
**Future-Parents of America: Heed my advice and only have boys. They are definitely cheaper to raise.**

But it was almost worth it as Super Hubs and I went on Friday evening to the “Red Carpet” event at Butterfly’s school. All of the Prom couples walked through a gauntlet of clapping parents and entered one of 14 decorated school buses which, like Cinderella’s pumpkin, carried them off to the ball. I would suggest that the paparazzi come to the local high schools and learn something about aggression before next year’s Oscars. The hundreds of parents pushing and shoving their way to the front to try to get a picture of their glammed-up teen is something I will never forget. Next year, I’m wearing my Chain Mail!

I cried. I admit it. Seeing Butterfly looking beautiful and happy on the arm of her Prom Date put a lump in my throat. She was a roly-poly 8 pound bundle of joy just a minute ago. Now she’s 16. However did it happen so fast?