Monday in Hilton Head

Do The Teens look like they are having fun?? It's hard to tell, what with their ears stapled to their iPods and their fingers glued to their cell phones and all. And no eye contact. It seems to be an epidemic on this island; every teen I see is texting and zoning. While we waited for a table outside a Caribbean restaurant this evening, they virtually ignored me when Super Hubs went inside to the bar to get us drinks. But Little Squirt, who embraces all of life with the joy of the uninhibited, tried some public Hip Hop moves on the dance floor to Bob Marley.

But the real fun began after we were seated inside the restaurant. And it was fun at my expense. At my humiliation.... Here's what happened: As I was explaining to the 20-Something Surfer Dude Waiter that I wanted the steamed clams and side salad as my entree, Little Squirt interrupted my order by saying: "Mom, do you want to marry him (the waiter)??" I paused in confusion, and then, attempting to repeat my order, was again interrupted by Little Squirt's more persistent: "Mom, I said, do you want to marry him?!!"

The waiter, clearly uncomfortable, scuttled away as The Teens burst into laughter. I was mortified, as was Super Hubs. "Little Squirt, I am already married to your father! Why would you say that??" I asked, puzzled. Possibly on the heels of watching too much Reality TV with his older siblings, Little Squirt whispered, "I think he wants to date you!"

OMG. I was thoroughly embarrassed by my 6-year-old! The waiter would not look at me the rest of the evening, and even sent over another waiter a few times to serve us. He was clearly avoiding me. The Teens giggled throughout the meal and made "Mrs. Robinson" jokes.

For the record: I AM SO NOT INTERESTED!! Happily married for 19 years, thank you very much. SO not the "Mrs. Robinson" type. Ewwwwww. And I gave Little Squirt a stern talking-to in the car about the inappropriateness of his comment. To which he replied, "I know. I was just kidding."