Sitting on beach chairs all around us are people with intriguing stories....
-The buff couple next to us? They are from Gary, Indiana. She was once a hefty 360lbs, but after a bad case of Yellow Fever (contracted on a Find-My-Inner-Goddess Trip to Brazil) she lost massive amounts of weight and loved her new physique. Vowing to help others' attain their ideal poundage through healthy exercise, she became a Personal Trainer, where she met him, another Personal Trainer, when they flirted from across the elliptical machines, and began an affair in the whirlpool. Both were in miserable marriages; subsequently they divorced and are now married to each other, happily, for the most part, except for the faux Vietnam flashbacks she has on occasion due to brain damage caused by the Yellow Fever...
-The distinguished-looking gentleman up ahead? He's a well-loved former Obstetrician, forced to retire when his liability insurance soared after the unfortunate botched delivery of conjoined quadruplets. The skinny dude next to him? That is his son-in-law who recently took over the practice. All seems well, except for a bit of tension due to the fact that Doc #2 has yet to achieve the popularity and notoriety of his father-in-law. I believe it has something to do with that fact that he's on the list of Registered Sex Offenders.....
-The prim-looking woman wearing the skirted brown-and-white polka dot bathing suit and perpetual frown? She's a librarian-turned-stripper from Vegas who works down at the Spearmint Rhino. Her stage name is "Dusty Primrose" and she's apparently quite popular with the locals.....
-The nervous-looking fellow, hiding behind the Tom Clancy novel? If I told you his real name, I'd have to kill you, because he's part of the Witness Protection Program. He's racked with anxiety, poor guy, and sucking down xanax like they're jelly bellies.....
I actually do not know any of these things for sure. I just speculate on the stories of the people around me; partly to tempt Super Hubs away from his Bernard Cornwell book so he'll pay me attention, but mostly for my own personal amusement. Hmmmmmm. I wonder what kinds of things people speculate about me.....
2 comments:
Didn't I spend most of the day standing in waist-deep ocean with Little Squirt? ;)
I thought maybe you were an international spy under deep cover? Big squirt and little squirt were out in the water together, I'll bet there was splashing, too!
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