Questionable Quiche

One thing that I insist on, pretty much without exception, is that we have dinner together as a family at least 4 times per week. I aim the bar just that high, and if we eat together more often, I call it us “blessed.”

Last night was a “mandatory attendance dinner”, as Sundays usually are. Because we had all eaten a big breakfast at church, I made lighter fare: a pepper jack cheese quiche, fruit salad and French bread. I love to cook under most circumstances, but was glad I had an especially easy meal to prepare last night. I prefer my Sundays to be fairly relaxed.

I was curled up in an easy chair, on the last chapters of an intriguing mystery, when the stove timer rang, indicating that the quiche was cooked. Drinks were poured, all called to the table, and I began dishing out. Suddenly, the square piece of quiche I had cut flipped over as I attempted to put it on my daughter’s plate, revealing silvery-brown spots on the backside. Puzzled, I cut through several other pieces. It appeared that there were grotesque spots on the bottom of every single piece of quiche! What in Sam Hill was wrong with my quiche??

“Ewwwww, this is disgusting!” was the general consensus. Super Hubs and I looked at each other in dismay. My beautiful meal, completely ruined! What was up with the quiche? We scratched our heads in dismay. A Teflon-leak? A weird dairy chemical reaction? A yet undiscovered fast-growing heat-thriving mold of some sort? What else could it be? Our brains sought a possible answer. Anthrax??? (Just kidding. I only wrote that for reader amusement. So if you are from Homeland Security and reading this, please don’t have your team come breaking down my door wearing Hazmat suits and carrying “Quarantine” signs. My neighbors might become alarmed.)

“Okay, kids,” I called, tossing the quiche and pan into the garbage. “To the minivan! It’s a pizza night!” And all was not lost, as we headed to our favorite pizza restaurant for a fun family evening.

But I sit here today, consumed with the mystery. I have made many a successful quiche in my day. I have used that exact Teflon pan for over two years with nary a problem. I have cooked numerous dinners in my 18-year marriage, all devoid of freakish splotches. So, dear readers, I ask for your input, and enclose a picture for your reference. (Warning: It’s not for the faint of heart.) If you can identify the unholy markings blemishing my quiche’s rear end, please advise. Input from chemists, chefs, biologists, Teflon-pan makers and terrorists welcome and appreciated.