Ding-Dong

It’s the dreaded season again…….when the door-to-door sales people come calling. I dread them because I.Can.Not.Say.No. Not ever. Let me try. “No.” Ooooohhh…..there I go feeling guilty again!! See??

I have purchased many a useless product over the years that I had no business spending money on. Like 5 gallons of a cleaning solution that gave me a rash the first time I used it, so I pitched the rest. Or magazines that I had no time or interest in reading but kept coming month after month…..all because I wanted desperately to help the college student with her education. Or the 20# of meat I purchased from a company that sold food from a truck…..because I felt obligated after they gave me a free gallon of ice cream. But, having very little freezer space, I ended up giving most of the beef away to my neighbors.

I am a sucker. And I’m certain companies that sell door-to-door know this about me and have highlighted my address in red ink and 10 asterisks. A poster-sized picture of me is probably on their walls as “Best Customer and Biggest Sucker.” If they are a good salesperson, I believe without question in their honesty and the integrity of their product and that I could not live another minute without buying it. Because salespeople never lie, right? And if they are a bad salesperson…..then I just feel so sorry for them and worry that they are rejected everywhere they go when they are only trying their darndest to make an honest living to support their 14 starving children…..so then I buy extra. Otherwise their sad little eyes will haunt me for days. See?? I’m just a neurotic mess!!

After one too many exorbitant credit-card bill, Super Hubs has forbidden me to buy anything else from them. So now I don’t answer the door. And this afternoon, when the doorbell rang, and I peeked out the living room window to see a man with a briefcase and clipboard, I had to tackle Little Squirt just as he was about to turn the doorknob. I shook my head silently and put a finger to my lips. Then we army-crawled through the downstairs until we reached the windowless bathroom, where we quietly hid out of sight until the unsuspecting salesperson left our premises. So then I couldn’t go outside for the rest of the day, for fear he’d come back.

(Big sigh.) Does anyone know if there is a Codependents Anonymous chapter anywhere near my home??